Published December 2, 2011
“Wanna make a wish?” He proffers the wishbone.
I consider him for a moment. Usually this is for me and my brother. But Sam isn’t here.
“Sure.” I grasp the other end.
I wish for Dad to get his wish.
I close my eyes as I pull.
Snap.
I look down at my hand. I have the big half.
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141,471 Literary Works • 674,496 Reviews
Hi, Sare! Rose here! I'll be reviewing this piece today!
First off, I adore this piece. It's very cute and I feel a lot of emotion from it even though it's very short. You've made my job as a reviewer very hard because it's difficult to find anything wrong with this piece for two reasons. One, because it's so short, and two, because it's so good. I'm trying my best to look for any areas where it needs improvement, but I don't see any right off the bat.
There might be something a little off with this part. It's just me nitpicking, though. If I was to edit this, I might rearrange it in the following way.
I also might've added one more sentence at the end of this, just to give a little bit more of information about why Sam isn't there. However, it's great just the way it is as well.
In my opinion, this is a perfect ending.
All in all, awesome piece! Always keep writing!
-Rose
That was extreamly short so I can't say much but it was rather good. I belive that you should make your short stories a bit longer otherwise there would be nothing to rate, comment or help you with. You may need to add some more as well because this is rather boring but it is good.
Happy Writing!
~Maria~