Published October 21, 2007
Whisper into my ear
and scream to me that you'll be here
Pick me up and thrown me down
and watch my heart slowly drown
Bound to you I am, like the devil's command
Your glaring eyes, always watching my back
Making my heart a nervous wreck
Trapping me into an endless black pit
only you know where I sit
Crawling back to you I come
like the Beacon's everlasting drum
Consumed I am by you, once again
My heart tearing shred by shred.
the lines that are underlined I need help with because they sound awkward, also if you have any additional comments to my poem, you can say them as well. As of yet, this poem has no title.
thank you
-sara
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,620 Literary Works • 673,561 Reviews
*Moved to Other Poetry*
...and locked, since there is a duplicate somewhere else.
Go here to comment.
Seriously, this is not a storybook. Do you (talking to sar_a215) even know what a storybook is? *Chuckles* Maybe we can turn it into a storybook.
Indeed! I was on it too lol. But, I can only move poetry...
Ah...this belongs in the poetry forum, not in Storybooks. :*flags down a mod*: