Young Writers Society

thanks for the feedback guys! and sorry im a little late! but really the negative feedback really helps LOADS not that the compliments arent nice, thanks so much, but i really need some good negative feedback to strengthen me...

The form you've written this with is really, really good. The rhythm as well. I also like how you started out the poem, "Your hand perched on my hip so gently". I like that. It just fits. I do wish the imagery could be a little more original. Have you considered changing up the words or adding adjectives? I'm sorry but I have to mention this: every kiss is intoxicating. Every smile is beautiful. Every look makes someone melt... from sheer cliche. I'm not saying this is horrible. I'm saying you could take time to make this a little metaphorical. Every artist has his unique style, so every poet has his own choice of words. Try that. Take a little time, and you'll see what I mean.

I thought this was a beautiful very sweet happy little poem. Dont change anything. I liked it and the poem made me smile. Ill look for more of your poetry.

I loved this. It kind of reminded me of Twilight:).

On another note I love your name
My birth stone=sapphire
My fav. day= Wednesday

Kind of cliche, and the ending line. "I hope you really do, Too." kind of lost me it makes sense, just doesnt fit or flow as much. My biggest problem was not you, I dont usually like happy, in love poems. But, this is very good. Keep me posted on any more poetry you write!!

Simple, sweet and conveys the message. I'm sure lots of people can relate to this I like it, good work xXx

Hello!
The poem is beautiful. I love the beginning. Although the ending is really cheesy, (don't mind it. I've written cheesier stories) the poem is sweet. You wouldn't have to worry about people not reading your poems. You're great at writing! Keep it up.

Amazing poem, a true success. I love the imagery you created, and how you applied sensation to all the senses, which provided an in-depth insight into your work, which greatly enhanced it's quality. I love how you were able to entice so much emotion into so few words, your description abilities are off the chart. You also have the rare talent to make the audience feel, and maybe explore your poem, for at first you see nothing but passion, than your MC turns into more of a mannequin, bound by love to this individual. If that was your intention or not, it's how I interpreted it, and it was amazing. Keep it up!

Hello! I've followed you!
To the poem: It was lovely. But: I felt it started off brilliantly, yet hit the rocks half way through and kind of got a bit weak at the end. But as for the first part: it was wonderful. You used brilliant description. I think alot of girls have had occational little fantacies in their heads which go just like this, and somehow they're comforting to us. I love this about your poem. You may be relating from personal experience, but I get a vibe of longing from this poem, as if your words are imaginings. Either way, this is a great poem. Mark my works. You get a *like* from me. Keep writing
~ Amelia

This is beautiful and makes me happy ^^ it describes my feelings towards a certain unknown someone haha. I hope to read more of your works!! Good luck and Happy Writing!!!!
Soulkana<3