I think everyone wishes at some point in their lives that they could talk to their younger selves. So, I decided to write a letter to my seven-year-old self.
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Dear Me,
I know it's hard to act normal around all your friends, but remember, they're hurting, too. Maybe they've got moms that treat them like criminals and dads that never talk to them. Maybe they're the youngest in their family and everyone expects them to be a genius like their sisters or highly popular/good at sports like their brothers. Maybe they're on some medication that used to get them high but doesn't anymore, so they're looking for something harder core. It happens.
Try not to blame your mother for the thing you're going through. When she was your age, she was dealing with all the same stuff, but worse. Adults can be confused or naive or whatever, too. She's doing everything she can, and no, it won't make things better, but it's still not her fault.
You're right about your biological father. He is, essentially, evil. Maybe he just does evil things in a desperate attempt to hold his twisted view of the world together, or maybe he just likes to see people suffer. Either way, it doesn't matter, because he still does it. Don't let him anywhere near anybody you care about, ever. If it makes you feel any better, he will die of cancer when you're 8. It's not your fault, though, and even if it were, that wouldn't nessecarily be a bad thing.
When you're at the funeral, ignore anyone that says that he was an "angel" or a "saint". Most of them didn't even know him at all, and the ones that do are just going with a stupid tradition of rewriting history so that people look good in order to "honor their memory". Read Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card. You'll love it.
You fight with loved ones or you hurt yourself sometimes when you're mad or feeling depressed, because it feels safe, but it is not okay! If you're angry, take a minute to just breathe, and then get it out in a constructive way - draw or write or something.
You can't do everything perfectly all the time. You can't even do almost everything almost perfectly almost all the time. Doing well is more than enough, and more than most people do.
You are stronger than you know, so don't let other people hurt you, emotionally or physically. I don't mean hurt them back. Just imagine there's a shield surrounding you, and every nasty thing they say or do bounces right off. Don't be afraid of how peole might react if they knew the real you. It's not worth it to hide like that.
You're not "weird" just because you're not like other girls. It doesn't mean you're like a boy. On a related subject, you're also not like your mother, your biological father, your dad, your brother, or anybody else. You're only like you. And you are beautiful.
Peace, Love, and Respect,
You
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Dear sanguine_drams,
Don't be so afraid. You don’t have it all figured out, and at 7, you shouldn’t. No one has anything figured out yet. It will be quite awhile before anyone has life figured out - slow down. You have plenty of time.
Open Your Mind. You don’t know everything. In fact, you don’t know anything yet. Just wait.
Keep dancing, and dance like the prima ballerina you are. But don’t lose sight of other options. You might end up making a career out of something else. I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s true. Just wait.
Stand your ground. That guy is pathetic, controlling, and nowhere near good enough for you. Stop crying. Stop writing him letters. There are more intriguing things to write about - go find them.
Keep writing. You are a writer. Write everything. And don’t keep it locked away. Your story matters.
You don’t have to escape. Your life is unbearable. Understood, please, enjoy the time with your family and pets and grandparents. Stop wishing to escape. I promise, you’ll do legendary things in a few years. Don’t rush the process.
Excitement will come. I know the all-girls high school is boring as hell. Don’t rush the process. You’ll have enough material for a ten volume memoir by your mid-20s.
7-year-old self - just let it be. I need to go write a new chapter for those members.
Well, I was a weird seven year old girl, and I'd probably appreciate my bluntness. But then, I don't remember a lot from when I was seven... it blurred in with when I was six!
And yeah, I know (now) that I'm not the only person that has bad experiences in her life. I tended to lose sight of that when I was a little girl.
Oh yeah, tell me about it. There are plenty of things I should have done different but didn't. I tried doing this once actually but I looked back on it the next day, realised what I'd done and threw it in the bin. That doesn't mean you should do the same; I'm just a very practical person and I've given up wishing I could change the past.
Judging this as a piece of writing, it's emotional and there are a lot of questions left unanswered that make the reader wonder. Defineately a good thing. Some of your sentences are rather blunt and harsh. I think if you're adressing it to, what is essentially a seven year old girl, you'd need to change the tone. Anyway, I don't think this is really the sort of thing that merits or asks for a critique so just remember that you're not alone in bad experiences and, even if things don't work out, our mistakes and sorrows are what make us the people we are today.