Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Spiritual

Silver light

by samegreeneyes

I sway my arms,
bathed in silver light.
I cannot move but am content
To sway.
Though the ground moves,
I do not.

Our tenants race through us,
Until they sleep
On our shoulders.
We are strong here,
Me and my brothers.

But when the silver light has gone
And the light of man comes,
I am left without feet,
And my shoulders can no longer hold them.
I am laid bare, naked, humiliated
In front of my brothers.
But they do not laugh,
They are next.

My roots were never meant to see this light,
They shrivel and cry at their betrayal.
How can they do this? When they too were once our brothers?

They have lost their way.

In their fear they kill, they cut.
We cannot stop them,
They need to see themselves
In the silver light.

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
35 Reviews

Points: 751
Reviews: 35

Wed Jun 27, 2012 7:47 am
View Likes
phantomwriterjoe wrote a review...

So I'm going to write this review without looking at any of the other comments below because I want to try and see what you were getting out and then see what others think. To me, this is a poem about a beautiful tree that loves the moonlight and is content. Animals love the tree and love resting in its limbs. But then man comes. He cuts down the tree, and the tree's "Brother's" or other trees in the forest. He lays the tree bare, and cuts down all the other trees.

The last stanza is about how people need to learn from their ways and stop ruining nature. They need to see how a like they are to everything else.

That's what I got out of it. Pretty poem; nice imagery. I'm not one for nature poems, however, but I found this poem thought provoking and that you accomplished what you were after.

You were spot on with your interpretation of what I was going for. Thank you!

User avatar
98 Reviews

Points: 273
Reviews: 98

Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:29 am
Rainn wrote a review...

I love the you composed this, it speaks a good message. Some of your formatting(if you will) is a bit strange, but not much. I really don't know what else to review.
You have a great way of speaking through your words. Keep it up!

Thank you very much!

User avatar
88 Reviews

Points: 2723
Reviews: 88

Tue Jun 26, 2012 12:09 am
hudz96 wrote a review...

Wow, This is amazing!
I love your ... whats the word??? I think I love the way you wrote this. I am no genius in poetry but I often also use the repetition of one certain verse.
I really love the way you did that Brothers part of the poem. the way you have described it makes me feel like im actually strong. Just one tiny thing, I was not immediately sure of what you were talking about, I know that it usally takes Alot of practise to get poems right and then not everyone understands them immediately but Your poem could actually be referring to many aspects of life, like an original race of people for instance.
Okay Im getting carried away now. I hope this made sense.

User avatar
9 Reviews

Points: 751
Reviews: 9

Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:59 pm
elfin12 wrote a review...

I like this, even though it was sad. It's about a tree, right? Some of your punctuation and capitalization was weird... Sorry, I don't really have a review for you :/ I got confused between the "silver light" and the "light of man". You gave the silver light a good differentiation in the first stanza (the tree was "content"), but later on I got the two lights mixed up. Yeah, that's it. Good job :)

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
— Solomon Short