Published December 12, 2006
Waiting for you the whole day,
You come up at night as i pray.
In the darkness you spread the light
As Allah say
You wake me up the whole night,
as outside my window you stay.
But as the sun comes out, you hide in the brightness.
On the bed of brightness you just lay.
You want to touch me
and you may.
As you are mine my bright moon,
In the stars spray.
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141,255 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
It's not bad for a first poem. Mine wasn't that good either. though I did like how you spoke of something with a meaning to yourself. Poetry is inspired by your life. Keep trying.
Welcome to the site. I like you poem's theme. you should work on using some more "I" verbs maybe,
keep writing =) happy reading(=
Hey Samarah!
First of all welcome to the site.
The starting of the poem was nice compared to the rest of it.
From the third para the poem was confusing to the reader.
Go through the poem once again and try to improve it.
I would advice you to rewrite it and express it more clearly.
In all good try!
Keep writing and posting it in here.
Best wishes.
-Anii.