Young Writers Society

Hi! I’m sort of new to this, and this is my first review so I’m sorry if this isn’t much, but I would just like to say that this poem was wonderful. And I’m not just saying that. I was taken back quite honestly because the rhyming scheme and the imagery was so advanced that I would have never expected someone so young to write this and that is why after reading this, I was left to be both intrigued and impressed. I don’t know what inspired you to write this, but whatever it was, I believe it did its job so I hope you continue on writing. Have a good day:)

Good morning, evening, afternoon, night, or any other form of greeting somewhat based on the time of day. Anyway , onto the review.

I really loved your poem! It flows very nicely, with an unpredictable and yet consistent rhyme scheme, if that makes any sense. Speaking of rhyme schemes, a few of your rhymes, especially in the first paragraph seem to be skewed. Like when it says “A wine-red blaze of garnet haze/Candlelit flares and sunset tears” based on how the rest of the paragraph’s rhyme scheme plays out, you might want to have the last words of the two lines rhyme. But , of course, feel free to ignore me, if you were going for something else.

In the fifth and sixth line of the first paragraph, “A taunting caper peeked into/A chasm’s crack of skylight spew”, you might want to change the word into, to through, so that it rhymes better, but that’s just my opinion.

My favorite line in the poem is the first and second lines of the second to last paragraph. “They soar and rise, and sear the skies/From underneath my shuttered eyes” There is a lot of imagery in just those two lines, and the rhyme scheme *chefs kiss*

Really loved your poem! Hope to see more of your work around soon!

-Lizzy

Hi,
Wow! What a fantastic poem - well done. I love your use of nature imagery, it really allows you to immerse yourself within your work, and for audiences to connect their own experiences of romantic relationships, regardless of their ages, to the poem. My favourite line is "You, my other piece to fit me whole", as you really capture the strength of love and the feelings which an individual can grow to develop over time. If I wrote this, I would certainly be extremely proud - you clearly are a very talented writer and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future, well done