Hi Sak965! Welcome to YWS!
If I had to describe my reading experience in one word, it'd be something like "fine"! I thought there were some nice elements here and I somewhat liked reading this, but I couldn't yet see something that would have made me think "wow!". I think you're keeping on the safe side, which is indeed safe and will get you nice results. But if you stepped over the line every now and then and I tried something new and different, you might reach some rather fantastic things!
You could experiment with different metaphors and images. So when you want to say something like "shattered like a broken glass", try to think out of the box: what else can be shattered or broken? Could you come up with a very unique way of saying essentially the same thing? Because at least for me, the beauty of poetry is the element of surprise. I don't mind reading "safe" poetry, because those can be nice reading experiences too, but usually the ones that go beyond the comfort zone are the ones that affect me the most.
One nitpick: I wasn't sure what you wanted to say with "a sparking feel", so that bit left me a bit confused.
Also, you did an excellent job considering English isn't your first language! I can honestly say that I wouldn't have guessed that it isn't your first language. Congratulations on that Happy writing!
Demeter
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