Your eyes

At first the last two lines rhyming was like an odd blow, because I'm really not used to it. Every line I was like, "Oh, Okay!" and continued reading. But I slowly got used to it. I liked it! Well done!

This was a good, beautiful poem, and I enjoyed it.

hey! nice one!
but dont you feel that the tempo gets distorted in the end??

everyone else has done all the nit picking now

so there isn't much left for me to say

but I can praise.

This poem is very good, I connected with it, I could actually see it inside my head

see the reactions of the characters see the motions

I thought it was very good

it painted a wonderfull picture

well done

Hey!

Awesome job! This poem creates a great imagery of someone who's deeply in love with someone else, yet she faces the the true side of him when he turns against her. Great job!

Your rhythm broke in a couple of parts. For instance....

I stared at them.

They were full of love,

They reflected your heart,

They reflected my love.

Yet…

I had watched those eyes turn cold,

Watched them without love,

Watched those twirl to insensitivity,

My tears didn’t matter to them,

Nor my love.

But…

All that matters to me are…

Those beautiful eyes and that handsome face.

when I saw a tear trickle down when I said so,

hey kaily this is dogs. you reviewed one of my poems so i guess i'll just return the favor

kaily. i am not a huge fan of love stories but i enjoyed reading the ending. i think that it was an interesting cruel twist.

In the first stanza it was one of my favorites. it flowed nicely and it sounded really good. i don't have any suggestions for this stanza

In the second stanza wellllllllllllllllllllllll i would like to say it is as good as the first but that isn't exactly the case. you see i think you use the word "love" to much. also overall in the poem you use the word "love" to much. try to find a different word. i would suggest that you use a thesaurus.

The third stanza is good. but again you are using loving which is to close to love

The fourth stanza is great!! and i don't have any suggestions

The fifth stanza is also great!!! awsome description.

I also really liked the sixth stanza.

Now the seventh stanza is by far my favorite. it has an intresting cruel twist. showing that life is never what it seems or is never perfect.

I loved reading this poem and the best of luck to you!!!!!! =D =)

Hiya there! I'm gonna help ya today!







I looked into your eyes,

And the world seemed to swirl,

The beauty in them was immense,

And they appeared so intense.


In this section, the first line could be a sentence. It would be more proper. See the suggested way below.



I looked into your eyes

The world seemed to swirl,

The beauty in them was immense,

And they appeared so intense.

By doing these few things, your poem will perfect! But really, I liked your poem!