Young Writers Society

Hello!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

Sorry it took me a while to get to this - I wasn't aware you had uploaded the last part. This was a very appropriate conclusion to the story. Even though Susan, along with the readers got the closure we all very much needed, the end still left a bittersweet feeling in our hearts - which is what I think you were aiming for. And for a story that is about grieving and learning to deal with loss, you certainly hit the mark with that ending.

I was a little surprised at the twist - I hadn't really expected to discover the identity of the guide at the end of it all, but it was certainly a nice surprise to find out that it had been her mother all along. Especially, considering that she hadn't had much of a presence in the story at all (at least from what I remember). In fact the first solid mention we have of her is that she died, which came as a bit of a shock as well since we had not been aware of her deteriorating health before. It made me sympathize with Susan, even though the sudden reveal came off as a bit of info dump which made me disconnect with the narration for a moment, simply to process this new development.

While the mother's lack of appearance in the story did make the discovery of her identity even more surprising, I feel in this case I would have been able to connect with her more if she had been more present in the story. Even if they were mere mentions of her in the background, I think the ending would have been that much more meaningful if we got to see how much she cared about her daughter instead of reading the evidence of it through the letters. I think I just wish we got to know more about the woman who had been so unconditionally supportive of her daughter without once getting or seeking the recognition for it.

I wondered for a while why she could not be there for Susan as herself, why she had to comfort her daughter through the pretense of the 'guide'. But I think I understand it. After her sister's death, Susan was vulnerable and had isolated herself totally from the world and any help her family could have offered. In this situation, its more likely that she would have confided and accepted the advice and help of an unknown guide who seemed to understand and know her.

A few specifics:

The idea of an older sister finding her little sister who’s lost in the forest put me in sort of a trance. Julia will eventually find me, I thought.

This part made me really feel for Susan. The innocence of her thought, despite knowing the futility of it showcases her grief and her refusal to move on.

“Who’s this Guide person?” I asked, huffing.

This is the first dialogue in the story and it came off as a bit abrupt. Perhaps you could go about it a different way by first making her address his mother's friend and the shock she felt at seeing him. It just seems a little unlikely that she would demand the truth in such a way from an adult much older than her without addressing him first or exchanging a few words at least.

It feels very superficial to say my life changed today — but it is indeed true.

I wish you had showed us here how her life changed instead of simply telling us that it did. We get that she had to leave her dad behind, that she got into a good college and has learned to live with her loss and still find happiness for herself. But if you had showed us the process of her moving on through some thoughts or actions, the ending would have been more profound. We know that she has grown by the end, but I feel as though we got robbed of a significant part of that journey.

Overall, this was a very heartwarming story of love, loss and grief. I loved how well I could connect with Susan and how I could empathize with her. What stuck more with me was the message you imparted at the end - that the feeling of loss is never really gone, we just learn to accept and live with it and still find some semblance of happiness in the world.

Thank you for sharing the story with us!

Keep writing and have a great day!

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: I think this was a lovely conclusion to the situation you built up with those other letters. Somehow you managed to tie everything up far better than I was imagining and I really enjoyed seeing how it feel in place and seeing that hope for a better future to come.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I discovered something shocking today. And it is something that was obvious in hindsight, and I just kept ignoring the little clues thrown my way.

When my sister Julia died, I was just crawling into my sophomore year, completely drenched with the pouring of grief and sadness on me. It wasn’t worth living for me anymore. Then, I found this children’s book. It was quite weird, I know, but it also was too good for me to put down. The idea of an older sister finding her little sister who’s lost in the forest put me in sort of a trance. Julia will eventually find me, I thought. I then wrote to the author, and then immediately regretted sending the letter. Why would I write to the author? Wouldn’t they be preoccupied with more important stuff than dealing with the whining and sobs of a sixteen-year-old? But they were very kind. It felt like they were family to me. My mom, in search of work, went to the other parts of Boston quite a lot, and my dad’s generally uninterested-in-life stance on almost everything left me without a shoulder to lean on. Then again, I found solace in The Guide. They were the ones who wrote to me, who understood me, who guided me. Whenever I felt sad — my dad was laid off, Julia’s best friend (and a very close friend of mine, especially after she left both of us alone) divorced her husband — I wrote to her.

Hmm well this is starting off with a very interesting point here. Given the kind of letter we saw in the previous part seeing this sort of almost personal reflection is an interesting style. The way this sounds like a look back from a much later point in time is also a really interesting detail here. I look forward to seeing what more we can uncover about the grief this person had to face.

I did the same, in January, when my mom died. Since Julia’s passing the year before, I had found a sense of comfort talking to my mom as well as writing to Julia. But all of a sudden, she passed away. It turned out she had a terminal condition diagnosed around the time Julia went away, and it made sense to her to never talk about it. Not me, though. No, I was devastated that she hid it and took the secret with her as she died. Since then, I tried to write to ‘The Guide’ twice, but I wasn’t able to do so, like at all. There was no phone number I could call. It felt so hopeless again. Then, I became obsessed with The Guide. Who were they? What were they like? What was their ‘personal loss’? And why had they disappeared when I needed them the most?

I looked for clues in the book. There was no author’s profile, there was nothing. It just said ‘The Guide’. Instinctually, I turned next to the telephone directory. There was no entry for ‘The Guide’. Was it all a fever dream? Or some misspelling? I searched for all possible misspellings that could’ve happened. I went to school; I did my homework and then I was on the search for The Guide. They were the only thing that mattered to me.

Ooooh the plot thickens here. I don't know if I'm misremembering but I don't think we knew about the mother dying before and it adds a very interesting dimension especially combined with this supposed mysterious vanishing of The Guide. It combines really well with that last letter and now seeing this person all lost like this is creating a really interesting effect here especially in terms of the kind of emotions this person appears to be going through.

At this point, I was becoming more and more hopeless about The Guide. Then, a dark thought came to me. What if they died? What if The Guide, the author who had become sort of an elder sister to me, was just a farce they’d been keeping up with and they just decided to stop with it? I considered all these factors and decided that it was probably one of these two.

And that’s where The Guide would be a distant memory of pain, loss, but also the message of hope, and moving on. Until, I decided to actually visit the damn place. In all of my searches, I had not once considered the possibility of going to that address. It felt too creepy, or obsessive. But then, my mind pushed me towards the action.

These thoughts are definitely making us think quite a lot there. Its definitely interesting to see this person this so powerfully about the worst case scenario for this whole thing and explore the repercussions of that. The decision to go through with this whole address idea is really powerful too because that is certainly quite a big move there.

I visited the address. It wasn’t a home. It was actually where a local indie publisher was based. I stepped in. It was Albert, my mom’s friend. He looked at me for a few seconds, before his expression turned a lot more serious.

“Who’s this Guide person?” I asked, huffing.

“I’m afraid only this letter can tell you,” He replied sternly.

Beneath Albert’s table, there was a chest of drawers. He took a letter and handed it to me.

“Thank you, but can you tell me about The Gui-” I said.“No. Read this first, Ms Peterson.”

“Fine,” I said, reluctantly.

Ooooh well well, isn't this quite something. That seems like a very interesting place for this address to lead to there and the fact that we have a mysterious final letter waiting here is really quite interesting. Either The Guide is a really rather quirky person who likes to work in extra mysterious ways or there's something that did in fact manage to happen to this person.

I think you know by now that it is your mother writing. I am sorry to give you such a shock. I thought I’d talk about ‘The Guide’ and who it was. I didn’t have enough time.

Please forgive me for lying to you.

But I want you to make me a promise. And that is to stay strong. I know that you are going through a lot, but please do not do anything that would hurt you, your father or our community. About the time your sister was entering her final days, I started writing a book. A book dedicated to you. I thought you’d read it before your sister died, and I wanted to use it as a way of introducing you to a world after your sister. I wanted to read it to you.

Ooooh well this, this is quite the twist here. I don't believe I managed to see this one coming but it really suddenly makes a whole lot of sense for it to fall into place like that. Its a lovely little twist and suddenly this is creating so much more powerful emotion here than I thought. Suddenly a lot of factors just fall into place and everything seems just that little bit more sincere but also bittersweet at the same time.

But things didn’t go according to plan. The doctors had predicted her dying around the time you would enter college. But, then, she died when she had to. And I worked with Albert so I could give this book to you. I loved writing and telling stories. You know this already, don’t you? I was editing the final rounds of my novel when I was hospitalized. Hope this letter finds you in a college you always wanted with friends you wanted.

I want you to stay strong, love, because if you lose your strength, your dad does too. And I don’t want our family stuck with this loss. I want you to move on. I know you both loved us very much, but this love shouldn’t stop you. I know grief will be there, you will be sad, and that is perfectly fine. Just keep moving forward.

Ahh well that is a rather powerful an incredibly heartfelt message for us to end off on there. I really love how much the mom here seems to have tried to do. Its really very powerful to see how even plans made for a worst case scenario gets so derailed by nature's call and ultimately we end up in this much messier situation but I think perhaps things will get better here.

For a few seconds, I froze, then it was all tears, covering my face. I was bursting with emotions. And it wasn’t all sadness or grief. Some of it was also happiness – at my mom’s love towards me. It feels very superficial to say my life changed today — but it is indeed true.

But changes often come in twos. I have to live with the fact that my mom and The Guide are inevitably the same person, and that her love will still exist, even if only in my thoughts. The other change is leaving my dad alone (although not in the mortal sense) in a few months’ time. I am moving to the other side of the country.

I am really happy today. No, the grief hasn’t magically disappeared, but I am so happy that I got into Stanford. And I’m so happy my mom was the best I could ever have. I am sad that she went so early.

But you have to move on.

See you tomorrow, Diary,

Your Susan.

Ahh I love that place to end on. We have Susan reacting pretty much as expected to that particular bit of news and in the end we've got ourselves into a very healthy mindset there too. I'm thrilled to see this being a diary entry and I really love the way it ends with how Susan is acknowledging the grief very much being a part of things still but how she views everything in a slightly better light now and how her life is finally moving forward and in a positive healthier direction. Its a lovely place to end.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall I think this was a fitting end to what you setup earlier and I was very pleasantly surprised by that twist. I think despite being a fairy short little series we end up really connecting with Susan here and we are really quite happy to see her able to go on to feel better and do better in life. Its a lovely little tale that despite a lot of sorrow manages to be surprisingly uplifting and sweet after all.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry