I walk down a street

It's interesting how you word this, it makes the reader think. It needs some punctuation, without it, it appears bare. Also, not capitalizing every new line would make it appear to flow better, not seem so choppy.

Ex-

I walk down a street-
I see a stranger
walking towards me.

Just play around with it, see what works. It would possibly add some personality to the poem

Limp my body moves forward -- I would add a comma between 'Limp' and 'my'

Otherwise, it's a really nice poem that just needs a bit of tweening. Keep writing!

-Spotted

Quite an interesting piece of poetry indeed. I'm intrigued by the presence of this "stranger". He/she seems to be a metaphor for something expected yet came too soon. It was ended well too; not to empty but open-ended enough to keep your reader's imagination running. Anyway, I leave my kudos for this beautifully eerie and sensuous poem.

Very interesting, I wonder if the 'stranger' is a 'stranger' at all, judging by the narrator’s reaction towards them. Your choice of words is really good. It effectively takes the reader through a journey of emotion with the narrator. I would really like to hear what inspired you to write this. Very nice work. Write on!

good job i really love this you did a great job and the wording is very strong you should be really proud of this great piece!


P.S please read 'change' and leave a comment!