"This," said the aged old preacher to the eager young man, "is a very special horse. He'll only start movin' if you say 'Praise the Lord!' and he'll only slow down if you say 'Amen'. No 'Woah's', 'Giddy-ups' or any of that nonsense. Do ya understand?"
The young man found these instructions strange but so thrilled he was to own such a beautiful black colt he merely bobbed his head in comprehension and handed over the money due. He supposed only an elderly pastor-turned-farmer such as this one could raise a horse to obey those commands.
The young man hopped up on his newly owned creature, shooting a wide grin at the old man and with a wild shout of "Praise the Lord!"the colt took off at breakneck speed. In fact, the horse raced so quickly over the flat lands before him, the young man, dust flying into his eyes, could hardly see where he was going.
"Woah!" he screamed in panic. "WOAH!" He clutched the reigns tightly in his hands, squinting to see ahead. They were rapidly approaching a drop-off, the young man saw, and his alarm intensified. He thought frantically what it was the old preacher had said would stop the horse. It was not "Woah!" No, no, no. It was, it was - "AMEN!" he shrieked. The horse skidded to a stop just inches before he reached the edge of the cliff, dust billowing in a cloud about him. They were saved, but only in the mere nick of time. The young man released a sigh of relief, swiping at his damp forehead with the back of his hand.
"Praise the Lord," he whispered.
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139,316 Literary Works • 672,529 Reviews
OMG this is
Spoiler
so ducking~K <3
XD
thanks so much! My dad loves telling jokes like this!
Just a few thoughts on this joke-
HAHAHAHAHAHA
That is all.
Best wishes,
MJ
XD at least you found it funny!
yay a short one
Hello there, just passing by for a short review for your equally short story.
The issue I have with this story is that it's actually pretty ineffective as it is (compared to its most shortest, most original form), and it's also pointless in my opinion.
I believe these kinds of jokes are best kept short, concise, and straight to the point. They're meant to be told to other people in order to make them laugh. Keeping them concise allows you to get to the punchline while the reader is still paying attention, and it also helps you remember it.
This story though, it spins the reader around with characterizations and descriptions and "bigger" words that the story could do without. It's beats the bush around a lot and inserts unnecessary information. Imagine narrating this entire story to a friend word-for-word, or posting this on Facebook, or making a meme out of it. It'd be a hassle, and I'm sure most people would like to listen to a shorter joke.
Although it could be argued that this little story is posted on YWS, a place where smart people like you and me hang out. Thus, it might be okay to add some pizzazz words, since YWS can understand it anyway, right? The problem with that is the joke itself isn't exactly a "smart person" joke. Anyone can understand it. You don't need to know any chemistry or algebra or inside information to understand it; you just need some common knowledge. I believe simplifying instead of adorning would do this punchline more justice and at the same time make it accessible to a wider audience.
Now that I think about it, this version of the joke is actually pointless (in my opinion). Making it shorter is a lot more effective, so why even bother complicating it more than that? Besides, I don't think this joke worth elaborating. It's just a gag purely for laughs; it doesn't really expose any deep truths or anything like that.
Anyways, that's all I have for now. Hopefully you've gotten something from my review. Have a noice day!
Yeah, I know. I totally just did this for fun since the actual joke seemed a little bland to me but thanks for your thoughts, anyway!
yay a short one
Hello there, just passing by for a short review for your equally short story.
The issue I have with this story is that it's actually pretty ineffective as it is (compared to its most shortest, most original form), and it's also pointless in my opinion.
I believe these kinds of jokes are best kept short, concise, and straight to the point. They're meant to be told to other people in order to make them laugh. Keeping them concise allows you to get to the punchline while the reader is still paying attention, and it also helps you remember it.
This story though, it spins the reader around with characterizations and descriptions and "bigger" words that the story could do without. It's beats the bush around a lot and inserts unnecessary information. Imagine narrating this entire story to a friend word-for-word, or posting this on Facebook, or making a meme out of it. It'd be a hassle, and I'm sure most people would like to listen to a shorter joke.
Although it could be argued that this little story is posted on YWS, a place where smart people like you and me hang out. Thus, it might be okay to add some pizzazz words, since YWS can understand it anyway, right? The problem with that is the joke itself isn't exactly a "smart person" joke. Anyone can understand it. You don't need to know any chemistry or algebra or inside information to understand it; you just need some common knowledge. I believe simplifying instead of adorning would do this punchline more justice and at the same time make it accessible to a wider audience.
Now that I think about it, this version of the joke is actually pointless (in my opinion). Making it shorter is a lot more effective, so why even bother complicating it more than that? Besides, I don't think this joke worth elaborating. It's just a gag purely for laughs; it doesn't really expose any deep truths or anything like that.
Anyways, that's all I have for now. Hopefully you've gotten something from my review. Have a noice day!
This made my night! It's hilarious!
Ah, thanks! and you just made mine.
Heyo! Shey here to review this work!
I haven't reviewed anything but poetry in a while, and I'd like it if that meant I've been reviewing a lot of poetry recently, but actually I haven't reviewed as much as I'd have liked to.
Soooo review time! My first little comment is the setting. You say this takes place in flatlands, yet suddenly there's just a massive cliff. Strange. I'd suggest locating this in a more mountainous region, so that sudden altitude differences are understandable.
Nitpicky 101: the comma and period at the end of those exclamatory remarks don't need to exist. Extremely minor thung, but I felt the need to say it.
I don't see the need for the dust flying into his eyes. The man still sees the drop-off, so it makes no difference if he saw it through dust or not. It still would have taken him time to stop the horse. Thus, I think it should be completely removed. This is a joking story (one which, by the way, is quite funny
That's all I got. I'm not sure if you were really looking for reviews on this, but you got one anyway. Overall, awesome, funny poem that I enjoyed a lot! I look forward to seeing more of your works in the future!
-Shey
thanks for the review, Shey! I am such a grammar freak, I don't know how I didn't notice all those commas and periods in unnecessary places. Gracias for pointing it out.
And the setting... well... it was a little lame, wasn't it? I literally just wrote this out in two seconds flat without putting any thought into it. But thank you for pointing it out, next time'll be better.
-TheChick
No problem!
The only thing I want to point out is in the beginning move the comma inside the quotation marks for "This,"
Also, at the end this is just a small comment. Would him whispering praise the lord set the horse off again? If I were you I would add that the horse took off and then leave it there. I feel like this would add a substantial amount of humor especially to the end.
Other than those two things I really have nothing else to comment on this. Good job
Hope this was helpful
Thanks for the review, skylnn. I didn't even notice that in the beginning! As for the praise the lord ending... well, this was how my dad told the joke and that's how I read it. Because the horse only went at Praise the Lord, naturally he took off when the guy whispered it. Kind of one of those endings that you immediately know what happened next...