There is nothing that hasn't already been said. Wonderful work. We're all behind you.
Recently our family experienced a great loss, so I just, well, scribbled this out, trying not to cry. But please review and tell me your thoughts. Thank you.
My Grandpa is dead.
I am afraid to speak these words, afraid to even read them. Never before in my life have I experienced a loss from someone I actually loved and cared about and held close. It is a deep, piercing wound to the heart, shattering my emotions and leaving me cold, and scared with tears all across my face. None of this is right, I think. It's not real, not just, not true. I will awaken from this hellish nightmare and inform him of all these terrible events. He will laugh, wrap his arms around me, tell me he loves me and kiss my head like he always does. Everything will be fine.
But something inside of me whispers this is not true. He is gone, dead, ready to be buried. The days will pass, the service will carry on, the church will bring us casseroles, and somehow we will have to find a way to move on. But I know my grandpa loves me. I love him. And because of this I try to think of the good times, of the memories I have, of the days we spent together....
I will always remember him as a happy, energetic man, goofy smile stretched across his wrinkled face, and a funny-looking mole between his eyebrows. He was small and thin and short, a good couple inches below me when I wore my lowest heels. He had a strip of curly, blond hair neatly trimmed below his ears, surrounding a freckled, bald head. I was always amused by his appearance each and every time I saw him.
He took my family and I on long, winding hikes about the mountains; sometimes we would camp out in our hammocks, other times we merely walked about. "Look at that," he would whisper in excitement, pointing at any random, sprouting green plant he had read about in his survival books. He would then commence on for about five and a half hours, speaking of flowers and trees, nature's poisons and cures, the type of bird roaming this side of the forest...
My grandpa was considered to be a musical genius, hearing music in everything. He proclaimed his acoustic guitar to be his "beloved" and before arthritis struck him with its poisonous venom he would play faithfully, eyes closed, small smile playing about his lips. When he sang, especially during worship service, tears would begin to form in every person's eyes. His tenor voice was strong and beautiful; it entranced me, summoned goosebumps along my arms...
He attempted to teach my sisters and I tickling was all in the head, and why were we laughing?! Stop laughing! But he would always laugh along with us. He taught us our first steps to swimming, teased us about pulling our teeth out with his pliers, and was determined to write out the application my future boyfriend, consenting to all the laws and demands, would sign. My grandpa was the only other person in our great big family who had a love and desire to write. I always thought, If I could even have a small fraction of his skills, just a piece of this fine talent, I would be content...
He was the Great Imitator of Accents, whether it be British, German or Jamaican; his blue eyes would twinkle in merriment, his fair eyebrows quirk together, and we would laugh before he even spoke a word.
Grandpa always made us laugh.
It almost seemed as if he thought one of his most crucial missions in life was to bring joy to peoples lives. If it were a depressed waitress at Denny's, or a gothic kid walking the streets, or even a lonely man examining screwdrivers at the local hardware store, my grandpa always found a way to reveal Jesus through a simple joke or comforting word. I have never met a person who didn't love my grandpa the very instant they met him. He was, after all, the exact equivalent of friendliness, compassion and understanding. The love of God shone through him, touching and healing people, comforting and calming, when he preached, sang or simply began a conversation.
Thinking of these things brings a peace to my soul. I know where my grandpa is, I know he is in heaven, singing and shouting in the streets, worshiping and praising our God. He is exactly where he has always wanted to be, away from the stress and worries of this world. He is in the presence of Jehovah, Yahweh, Jesus. And I smile through my tears, through the pain, through the grief. Because even though my grandpa is dead, everything will be alright.
There is nothing that hasn't already been said. Wonderful work. We're all behind you.
Very nice piece, taken as a whole. I feel that you have done very well in communicating your thoughts and feelings in written words, and that is an accomplishment in and of itself. Personally, I don't find any way to improve it, as it is a reflection of you, your feelings, and the unique circumstances that you have been in. I think because of that, it's use is limited, not that that is a problem - I don't know if anyone is even trying to make it useful, but the way that you wrote your feelings is a very good example to all of us, and is worthy of imitation, in my opinion.
I'm sorry, I wish, even though I have never met you, or even know who you are, that your grandpa was still alive to do all those things with you. I have a great grandpa that I never got to meet and everyone says he was amazing! He was the mayor of the town, he was a firefighter, and he was a kind-hearted man, but he died in 1999, 5 years before I was even born. You're lucky you got to meet your grandpa, and hve fun with him, laugh with him, learn what his past was like! I'm sorry this happened to you, and I swear, you'll be ok. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, maybe not even until next year! But you WILL be ok!:) I promise...
You know, I think this very much, I think it's a great piece of work. It pours out emotions that people like to hide when they're dealing with a great loss. I'll tell you, I know how you feel. It hurts to lose someone. I wrote a poem for my own grandpa when he died back in 2014. Keep writing. It's beautiful.
You know, I always somewhat dislike reviewing pieces like these. I know every writers' works come from the heart, but there's just that fragment that comes from loss. And as other reviewers mentioned, sometimes some of our greatest works come from pain. Sometimes the best way we can connect to readers, is from writing about our own grief. (A somewhat sad but true statement.) But I really enjoyed reading it (and other pieces like this). You did a wonderful job of showing us what your grandpa looked like! I don't know why, but the title is especially pleasing for me - it sums it all up and is very straight to the point, but open and allows questions to form before actually reading it.
Anyway, in my reviews, I don't like to gush on and on (like I pretty much just did) about how amazing it is, so I will try my best to give you a good review (haven't done this in a while, unfortunately).
I would like a little more on how you felt personally after his death. Maybe your first reactions, or how other people responded to the news. Even if just a paragraph or two. I think you can connect even more with readers (the way you have) through sharing that.
This being a spiritual piece, I think it would be pleasing to end with a Bible verse. I don't know - your ending seems just a bit, off. Not a huge letdown, but I feel it isn't as powerful as it could be (and as beautiful as your opening paragraph was). One of the verses your writing reminded me of, is Matthew 16:25 ("For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it."). I'm most definitely not saying you have to use this verse, or any verse at all, but I think a Biblical promise that aligns with that last sentence that "everything will still be okay" would be a satisfying and powerful ending.
This is a very beautiful and thoughtful piece of writing. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and I'm so very glad that you are able to reassure yourself that everything will be alright, because it will be. Losing somebody is very hard and the memories seem unbearable to think about, but the way in which you have written this is outstanding and so descriptive. I can imagine your Grandpa's looks and personality vividly.
Absolutely outstanding writing and I persuade you to carry on using this skill. It is truly brilliant. (P.S I have tears in my eyes)
Best wishes,
Charlotte <3
First, I would like to say this piece is absolutely gorgeous. Beautiful.
Second: my condolences. I know what it is like to lose a grandparent- in my case it was my grandma I found it helped to remember that for each death another was born. Death is a natural part of life- without it, there would be no balance and nothing would be able to survive. And if death is another part of life, then really it is just a transformation from one stage to another, right?
Best wishes,
Feather
I'd like to say that I hope you are doing well after your loss, and that I seen my greatest condolences. Your piece, on the other hand, is very stylized and emotional, and it does well to convey emotion how I could only imagine you feel. Although there were some spelling and grammar errors, these are easy to miss and Bradley take away from the work in general. Again, I'm sorry for you loss, but you have done well to honor your grandfathers memory with such beautifu writing. I wish you the best.
I'd like to say that I hope you are doing well after your loss, and that I seen my greatest condolences. Your piece, on the other hand, is very stylized and emotional, and it does well to convey emotion how I could only imagine you feel. Although there were some spelling and grammar errors, these are easy to miss and Bradley take away from the work in general. Again, I'm sorry for you loss, but you have done well to honor your grandfathers memory with such beautifu writing. I wish you the best.
Hello,
Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss. Secondly, this is a beautiful piece.
The way you describe the contrast between your grandfather's death and your memories of him is striking. I can feel the emotion in this—the pain and sorrow, and the glibness of your memories. You've brought it all to vivid life. Everything about this is stunning, and saddening, and hopeful. I was absolutely moved—and I'm an agnostic secular humanist! But the beauty of this piece, and your gorgeous writing style, transcends religion; anyone of any faith should be able to appreciate this, and the universal message behind it.
Your imagery is lush and your word choice is on point. Everything in this piece sounds thoughtful, like you spent a lot of time considering each sentence and editing it (and even if that's not the case, you certainly could've fooled me). I could feel everything you wrote, every emotion you touched on; I could see everything you described. That's quite a coup.
Sometimes the best writing comes from a very dark and sad place, and that sentiment holds true with this piece. You should feel proud for having written it. Great work.
Sending you good thoughts. <33
120,205 Literary Works • 649,081 Reviews
this is a very well written piece about him.
Points: 524
Reviews: 54
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