Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
A warning just went out for us to take cover; a tornado is to touch down soon. Mama huddled all six of us in our tiny cellar, we were huddled there for about five minutes until the howling winds and the crashing of building stopped. I remember our house being moved across the street, and the only thing left was our kitchen.
Okayyyy...looks like we're set to start off with a bit of a quick flashback of sorts here. Certainly is an interesting point to get things started here. Or at the least if it isn't a flashback, it looks like a memory of what was probably quite a horrible day by the way that it looks like these folks have actually lost their house here.
We had no where to live and at this point we had very little money to buy a brand new house.we lived on the poorer side of Oklahoma city, where crimes happened every other night. We moved in with my aunt Betty until we can find a place of our own. About a month passed since the disaster, and daddy said we finally have enough money to move to New York City. I always dreamed of living there, and the only thing we had to do was gather our family and move.
Hmm...alright, well, not much emotion is being depicted here, the way that you narrate a situation as horrible as losing an entire house and the things in it, is a little bit matter of factly. And then of course we move to the description about not being able to immediately move somewhere else and living with a relative for a while before being able to move. Again, this is going quite flatly here. At this point I'm assuming maybe it happened a while ago and this is just some recalling that for some reason cause there just appears to be a serious lack of reaction to the situation here from what I see.
We took an twelve hour drive to our new home and it wasn't the home I imagined. there was people running and the sound of guns going off. Our little three bed room apartment had dead rats and roaches every corner you turned. I told mama and papa i was going to take a walk because I wanted to soak in our new home, but really i was trying to escape throwing up from this disgusting home. As I walked down the street I felt like the center of attention, all eyes were on me as I proceed to the corner store. At this moment I knew my life was about to change.
Hmm, well then this appears to be a bit more in the future now, hmm, and well, that new house doesn't seem to be particularly great either there, but I suppose it is still better than having no house. Well at any rate, it is a pretty interesting and quite devastating backstory to have, that is almost glossed over but hmm...putting that aside, this certainly is a pretty intriguing ending we have here. That last line especially is quite interesting. I think I would read on after this point, but again, I would think putting a little more emotion into recalling an experience like that is prolly a good idea.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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