Published December 9, 2008
Violent night
Brutal night
In Vietnam
It snows napalm
Babies die in wombs unborn
Mothers scream in firestorms
As we laugh away Christmas night
A girl baths in the napalm light
Crackers and poppers fill the air
There she moans, beyond repair
In the fire she did drown
A present that we rained down
On Christmas night, he showed again
The children prayed and said amen
His iron sledge scar’s the night
His iron gifts unravel bright
her breath come short
her heart goes taut
Silent night
Broken rights
No one stirs
The night is hers
its alot better with music, but i cant sing
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,611 Literary Works • 675,146 Reviews
bathes
comes short
*
I don't really know what to make of this. I think the tempo/rhythm changed a bit as it went on but I'm not a poetry nut so I'll leave it to someone else to explain that better. It didn't really effect me, though I thought it was well done with solid imagery.employed.
Cheers