purifing fire

Hi,
My dad is dyslexic so I understand most of your mistakes.

I am going to point out your mistakes and fix them using *. So hear we go...

"*Hello* everyone thanks for *taking* the time to read this, *I'd* like to just let you know that *I* am *dyslexic*, and if there are any errors eg spelling mistakes grammar* please tell me thank you.

*The* *beginning* of the extract is a fight between our main charicter *Sharla* (still needs a last name) fighting a hostile mage.


A bolt of energy flew past *Sharla's* face just inches away from her. *Instinctively* she ducked and clicked her fingers to produce a spark but she failed to produce a flame. Two more bolts were fired at her from the other mage one completely of target the other splintering the wall near her into two pieces. She panicked and rolled to the nearest piece of cover. She knew that she didn't have a chance arcane magic was more powerful than elemental

*Unless*....


*The* other mage laughed mockingly at her, “*You* *can't* hide for long.” *His* voice seemed to reverberate from the dome's walls. *He* placed his hand together and violently ripped them apart creating a tearing sound this motion seamed to electrify the air around him, and a blue globe of energy seamed into existence in his hands. With a strange motion of his hands the ball flew into the wall were *Sharla* was taking cover the wall exploded sending shards across the dome. As the smoke cleared *Sharla* lay there the mage roared in triumph, and moved down to inspect his foe he didn't notice the faint click behind him as he ran down the rubble and stone that scattered the worn battlefield he glanced the figure of his foes dead body but it lacked something.

Substance.

*He* realized in horror that he fell into a trap, but it was to late it had been enough. He screamed out in pain as three fire balls had hit him square in the back his cloak was set alight the mage fell to the ground in pain as *Sharla* willed the flames to extinguish she spoke a simple request, “*Do* you concede” *The* magician nodded as he whimpered and pushed himself away from her.

Sharla picked up her robe from the floor and threw it over her back she couldn't help but think smugly to herself elemental magic was *weak* compared to the other schools the top being mind magic, arcane, and necromancy, but it was the safest whilst there were strong spells and ability's in all schools each had drawbacks. Sharla had not taking the decision of training as a pyromancer lightly sure there was a lot of appeal to following the masses of magicians and becoming an arcane or even the elusiveness of necromancy but magic changed people, it affected your personality it lived with you!"

Whew! I hope this helps! Great story line by the way.

Raven.

I was not impressed. I don't care if you are dyslexic, you can use Microsoft Word to eliminate many of your grammatical and spelling errors. The storyline wasn't bad, but the grammar and spelling took away from its glory and the full extent of the effect it could have on readers. I would however suggest that you explain what exactly a mage is in your author's note. Your writing isn't bad, but you need to work on grammar and if you haven't, proofread your post before you put it up. I fully believe that you have the capabilities to do so. If not, you may not get as many reviews as you would like. I would like you to make the corrections I have suggested and see if you get more reviews. I say this all constructively. If you need any additional help, you can PM me.

-Crescent