now my heart is clear i love you my dear.
you make me laugh,you make me smile,
you even kiss me on the cheek every once in
a while. when you hold my hand it makes my heart race
at a completely new and different pace.so take my hand,
because to already have my heart so lets fall in love and never part.:]
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
I love the rythmn. I yourr poem. Whats with the boldface?this is too sweet of a poem too use boldface. I could see this in a valentine. I love it.
I Liked this, although, i have to agree with niteowl when she says that love is different for other people.
x
i think it is very well written and shows how a teenager would feel Love, if you know what i mean?
well done !
Alright this needs some help so let me start with you always capitalize the first letter of a sentence. capitalize the n from "now".
You got to capitalize "i" to I.
Capitalize the next sentence. Do the same with each line except if you have a period at the end of your last sentence. Maybe if you edit it will be better. I gotta go.
PM me if you have any questions. Thanks SimonCowellLuver
I would agree with niteowl here.
Love is both a common and difficult thing to write about, and I would recommend that you read a few more first. I think the formatting is a bit unnecessary formatting could be redone in word form, and wha should be expressed can and will be.
Keep writing!
~Mark
First off, welcome to YWS. Second off, we have a little rule here: Please keep your reviewing/poems ratio at least 2:1. That way, everyone gets critiques and people will like you more.
Now on to the poem. Honestly, it's not doing much for me. Love is a very difficult subject to write about, because it means different things to different people and it lends itself to cliches. Make this more personal. Why do you love this person? Is it looks? Smarts? Humor? Something else? Show us these positive qualities, perhaps in a scene of you two together. Make it so unique that only you could have written it.
On a secondary note, randomly making words bold and underlined is unnecessary. The words should be so powerful that they need no such emphasis.
Keep writing!
This is nice. Make it a song. Just joking.