Hello.
I see you're rather new so welcome here.
Okay, now on to your poem. The first two stanzas I believe are supposed to be a strong beginning. Sort of like a call to the battlefield or something like that. However, I don't think it worked too well. Particularly the first line, maybe its just me but the line sounded so cliche that it became a weak beginning.
The second stanza on the other hand is alright up until the final line. ALthough, I suppose it does work, I think that the rhyme sounded forced and that you can put in something better there.
The rest of your poem on the other hand is great. I'm not too knowledgeable on punctuation but this poem needs punstuation or else the words and lines run into each other and get too confused. I'm pretty sure someone else on this site will point out some punctuation advice soon.
Is the last stanza correct?
I think this poem needs editing. There are some typos here and there that needs attention.
Overall, I loved the idea of love here. Being a soldier to rescue someone from the pain. I found it to be quite an original concept. Its also very lovely because it speaks of such a noble love.
Points: 1802
Reviews: 261
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