Published October 14, 2011
The wind runs through my hair
As the moon says its last goodbye.
Hands entwined like a vine.
Feeling like theres no tomorrow.
Were holding onto each other
Like a mother holds her child,
As the night closes in on us.
He reaches for my hand
And whispers softly in my ear.
He said "I love you"
Like it was written in the stars.
He pulls me in close
And kisses me gently.
He holds me
Until the stars fade away.
I feel like
We are the only two people
In the world at that moment.
And as we lay under the stars,
They blanket us with darkness
And a new day
Begins.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,345 Literary Works • 674,370 Reviews
its really good....my favourite part is :
anyway i really like it.
We are the only two people
In the world at that moment.
And as we lay under the stars,
They blanket us with darkness
And a new day
Begins.
It really shows a romantic scene ,two persons that are in love and are under each others spell
It reminded me of a Donne poem, I cannot remember which. It invoked a similar scenery and emotion.
Keep writing, upping more.
Decent write, I'd say. But you could've used fresher imagery or used the present ones more creatively - the night, the moon, the stars, the lover and the love