Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Theo watched as the man circled him, his eyes shifting nervously, wondering his next move. Theo stood watching, curious almost fearful of his anxious behavior taking over. the man was about 20 years old and had a gun pointed at him, but Theo was'nt afraid, he was curious of the man and almost wanted to be shot just because he wanted to know the outcome. the man's voice rang in Theo's ears "-let! give me your wallet!" Theo watched him mockingly daring him to shoot him dead, cold bloodedly, violently. the safety was clicked off. "you have 3 seconds-" Theo stood watching. "one, two, and thr-" bang! the gun cocked and Theo ended up on the floor, blood staining the parking garage concrete and his shirt. the man left him for dead.
Theo woke up surrounded by tufts of a white substance
OKay, so well we can clearly see that you didn't end up returning to finish this piece off after all, but it did not receive two reviews, so I daresay while this chapter won't really ever be completed, I can at least leave a review for the part that's here and give it its second review.
Well, looks like this story here has a really interesting start here cause I'm not mistaken, we're starting off with our main character being killed in what appears to be a mugging here where this one decides that its a good idea to try and discover the outcome of being shot in the chest. It definitely thinks about what sort of character this main character might be and the sort of mental state that he might have been in going into this situation. And well as far as the first paragraph of a first chapter goes, this absolutely will get a reader's attention right here.
All in all we have ourselves a powerful start here to what seems like an interesting story. I certainly would've loved to see how this one would continue here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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Reviews: 4107
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