small size shoes

Hi,

Wow, uh, I have some things to point out so I'll just use the whole poem. Here goes:

One evening as I was going out for the party,
I planned the best dress to put; I don't get it?
The best jewels to wear,
In order to look the best I could.
While coming down the stairs,
I stopped by my shoe-chest;
In order to choose the shoe,
That would match with my dress the best.
There were many shoes up the rack, Try rewording this.
And I chose a bright and magnificient one;
It matched perfectly with my dress,
But too small for my size it had grown. Try this again.
But still I opted for that pair of shoe, shoes*
And pulled it up my feet tight; What?
I didn't care about how uncomfortable I felt,
As it went with my dress all right.
When I reached the party,
And was asked to tread a measure or two, What do you mean? Dance?
I found it too difficult to perform , Preform what exactly?
As I had worn a small size shoe. sized*
The whole party I sat in a corner,
As I couldn't even walk right;
I couldn't enjoy with my friends,
As I had worn a pair of shoe tight. Shoes*
That day I learnt a lesson- Learnt isn't a word! Try learned.
Never after appearance you run; I think I know what you mean, but maybe you should try rewording this.
Always be comfortable in whatever decision you make,
And you won't ever miss the fun.
Even in life there will occur an instance,
In which you will have a goal to decide;
Choose the one that best fits you,
And that will make all the difference in your life.

Overall, I really liked how you used a shoe to convey a lesson.

Farewell,
A.

This is a good poem. I like it.

[quote="ratularay"]
I planned the best dress to put; (Do you mean put on?)
But too small for my size it had grown. (Maybe you can switch around and say your feet became too big for the shoes)
And was asked to tread a measure or two (I don't understand. Do you mean dance?)
As I had worn a pair of shoe tight. (Get rid of tight. Or try to fix the line)
quote]

I don't mean to pick at your poem. You don't have to change anything. I think it is a good poem. We all make grammer mistakes, especially me.

I liked the way you used the shoe to mean something more. Good message, and the poem was fun to read. One thing: your rhymes didn't always... well, rhyme. You might want to change that; parts of it rhymed and parts didn't, so the style could be confusing. Good, though. Have a nice day!

I really liked the message of the poem and how you used the analogy of your shoe to convey something deeper. Nice work!