z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Morgan Harper Nichols.

by raphaelfigo


              "And in those moments where the sun is setting and the house is quiet and you are weary from the day, may you know that there is grace for you in that space, and no amount of heaviness or loneliness can take that away. And because of that grace, you are free to slow down. You are free to breathe and rest, no matter the things not sorted out. There might be some mystery here, and there might be longing, wondering and waiting, but there will also 

                 -be boundless peace that goes beyond any understanding, running wild like a river through everything, no matter how heavy these moments feel. So rest easy, when evening is approaching. Tomorrow is surely coming, but in the hours in between,

                                             You are free to rest till then.

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701 Reviews

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Fri Jul 16, 2021 9:28 am
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey there! Here for a review!
Let me start with the formatting. Why did u format like that? My brain can't find a reason for your formatting but if you have it, please provide me with the reason. Then, I would be able to say if it fits in here.
Now, coming to your content. It's a bit vague. Most importantly, I can't find any link between the titlw and the piece. I don't know if it's a chapter or a part of a larger writing , but I guess so.
Next, your writing starts with a quotation but it doesn't end with one. Fix that.
Your writing sets a good mood. A very tranquil peace it gives upon me, as I can feel it. It gives an image of the very busy life of nowadays and how people can't get one minute free time. How ppl lives are getting stress with no time for them. It tells how ppl don't feel or rather understand the significance of giving them some time of their own.

Overall, a very good one. And I guess it has some other part, if yes, then tag me when u release it. Keep writing!
~Forever




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185 Reviews

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Fri Jul 16, 2021 6:03 am
FireEyes wrote a review...



Hello raphaelfigo! Welcome to YWS! Incoming review!

I always love to see someone dipping their toes into writing! I hope you enjoy the process and will appreciate the review. Now let me get to the reviewing.

I guess I'll critiques first. I saw that you opened your piece with a quotation mark but didn't follow through with the end of the piece. Did you mean for the piece to be someone speaking to someone else or to the audience. If it was to the audience, you don't need to have it be in quotes because 2nd person point of view talks to the reader directly.

Another thing I noticed was this part

There might be some mystery here, and there might be longing, wondering and waiting, but there will also

-be boundless peace that goes beyond any understanding, running wild like a river through everything, no matter how heavy these moments feel.
It's a run on sentence but it's hidden with the breaking up of the sentence. You could make a full stop after, "wondering and waiting." And to make the piece two paragraphs long, you can then make the new paragraph with the remaining sentence.

And one last thing was the title. I don't think it suited the work well. Maybe something more like "Rest till then" or "Grace for you" would work better.

But that's all for critiques. Now to praise your work! Again, I'm very happy that you're trying to write and I hope you enjoy YWS! Your work speaks like a mother telling her young child what's to come later in life. It just have this motherly vibe and I'm here for it! With your use of personification, imagery, and overall softness I wanted more. I really wanted more!

If you left me craving more, you did a good job. If you have any more ideas that fit the mood and tone for the message, by all means add them!

But that's all I have for today. I hope you found some of it useful! Keep writing! It can be tough sometimes but with time and critique, you'll improve. And I really do mean what I say! Anyway byeeeeeeeee<3333





No one is perfect; not even your reflection.
— Chalkboard Words