Hello there, friend I agree with what Mint said. I would love to live in this poem. I love how relatable it was to me and it really reminded me of what summers were like when I was a kid, spending so much time outside and swimming and going to summer camps. You did a wonderful job capturing those feelings, without overly complex language or descriptions. This simplicity allowed me to stay engaged throughout the poem and feel that sense of peace as I reflected on my own experiences.
while rain cascades down through
the gentle, summer air.
I feel like I can smell these words, the smell of the rain on the pavements and the humidity in the air from summer. And perhaps a rainbow in the sky too. Your language that you used (as I said) is simple but beautiful. You throw in this pretty words, describing the rain to be cascading through the summer air. I feel the gentleness as I read, not only in what I imagine, but in what you wrote too.
in this torrent, temporary stream
while i cheerfully hop and splash
in a world of my own.
The double T words flowed so nicely. This has such a sweet ending. I really need to read more happy poetry like this =P Oh, to be in a world of your own. I think you have created that space for all of us, in your poetry. Fantastic job! Keep writing.
Your friend,
Ellie
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Reviews: 642
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