sunshine peaks though
the linings of the grandiose,
delicately gray clouds
while rain cascades down through
the gentle, summer air.
the street gutter in the front yard
outside of my bedroom
flows steadily down the street.
small sticks and leaves surge
in this torrent, temporary stream
while i cheerfully hop and splash
in a world of my own.
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139,395 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
Hello there, friend
I agree with what Mint said. I would love to live in this poem. I love how relatable it was to me and it really reminded me of what summers were like when I was a kid, spending so much time outside and swimming and going to summer camps. You did a wonderful job capturing those feelings, without overly complex language or descriptions. This simplicity allowed me to stay engaged throughout the poem and feel that sense of peace as I reflected on my own experiences.
I feel like I can smell these words, the smell of the rain on the pavements and the humidity in the air from summer. And perhaps a rainbow in the sky too. Your language that you used (as I said) is simple but beautiful. You throw in this pretty words, describing the rain to be cascading through the summer air. I feel the gentleness as I read, not only in what I imagine, but in what you wrote too.
The double T words flowed so nicely. This has such a sweet ending. I really need to read more happy poetry like this =P Oh, to be in a world of your own. I think you have created that space for all of us, in your poetry. Fantastic job! Keep writing.
Your friend,
Ellie
I love the choice of words in this piece, to some they would appear unnecessarily complex but to me it ties in so well with the scene, the beautiful world we live in deserves the best words to describe it! Summer is one of my favourite seasons and summer rain is such a joy to see and experience. Keep up the good work
Regards, archrnln
This really honestly seemed super chill to me. i liked how you could really and truly feel the vibes of the outside world even when youre just hanging inside. i love how absolutely professional it is, like i wish i could use that many descriptive words that nicely. i kind of feel like, when im reading this, truly incapsulated in the nature and i kind of feel like a frog just jumping around lol. it's a really good work and im sorry for my absolutely terrible review im trying ToT but i really like it, and its a super good work all in all!!
this is so peaceful aaaa i want to live in the world of this poem :')
excellent work! <3
This brings me back to my childhood. It reminds me of innocence. The idea that it still rains yet I never play in it like I used to. Your use of imagery is impecable, matched with your excellent vocabulary makes for a fun read. I don't much care for poetry, I find it hard to follow, but your writing is easy to comprehend and still has deep meaning. Great job and continue writing.