Young Writers Society

"This is a poignant and thought-provoking poem that explores the theme of memory and loss. The use of vivid and emotional language effectively conveys the sense of longing and heartache that comes with the realization that someone you loved has gone.

One thing that particularly stands out about the poem is the way it shifts between different modes of communication and representation, from pictures and videos to words and memories. This creates a sense of fragmentation and disorientation that mirrors the speaker's own experience of loss and confusion.

The line "the eyes are the windows to the soul, but all I see are tightly drawn curtains" is particularly powerful, as it suggests that even though we may look at someone, we may not really see or understand them.

If there was one suggestion for improvement, it would be to perhaps add a bit more clarity in terms of the relationship between the speaker and the person they are addressing in the poem. While it is clear that there is a sense of loss and longing, it is not entirely clear who the person is or what their relationship was. Adding a bit more context could help to deepen the emotional impact of the poem even further."

hey, I am here for the review.

Let's start from the beginning - "pictures speak a thousand words;" this line nicely sets the poem's topic.


="(But ) a single word from you
tells me everything I need to know."

the but comes off as contrasting with what has already been mentioned.
...

=why did I stop being able to read you? " This line means that you are not reading her/his eye intentionally not the - you are not able to read. ---you can change to (why was I not able to read you now?)
...

=standing out only when those windows close. ( I think it should be - with - instead of -when - or if you want to use -when -then ---- standing out only when those windows are closed
...

=you aren't different from the rest, = from here you start describing your lover I suppose then suddenly you break off the continuity and start with --I" really thought I was immune"
it feels like a train of thought. We jump from one to another without completing one thing.

if these are something you have intentionally done then I guess it can be a style
...

=what more can I afford to lose?
when all I have
is a single photo of you.

the ending is nice you end with how you start kind of giving it a circular ending.
.
In the end, everything mentioned above is just a suggestion, as a writer, your decision on how to write is above everyone else's opinion, so take everything with a grain of salt.

keep writing.

Hey quitesmol! I hope you're having a good day! looseleaf here with a review.

I really like this poem! I especially love your theme of memories and love and old times. That being said, I think there are some grammatical and word-choice issues you could change; otherwise, it is a solid poem. I'm going to review this by basically going down the poem. :)))

Your opening lines are literally *chefs kiss*

pictures speak a thousand words;

videos tell a life story.

but a single word from you

tells me everything I need to know.

so when did things change?
why did I stop being able to read you?

hey.
you left.
how unexpected.
why are these tears running down my face?
I'm… crying?

what are these letters tucked away in your heart?
yellowed from age, never meant to see the sun.

when all I have
is a single photo of you.