Young Writers Society

I love this piece because you have described vividly how consciousness and shock and instinct can not only be the difference between life and death, but can tell the truth about yourself and lead you to grow and be aware.
'you lose your stock photo world as it turns to chaos under a black sun' I absolutely loved this line because it's true, our world, in our eyes, can only be one way or another. I also love the imagery in it.
'and make space for opinions and thoughts that once only existed in the unconscious.' I really liked this line, but perhaps you could change the end to make it flow more or maybe you could add some more imagery here describing this state of unconsciousness: only existed in the unconscious void of...
But that's completely up to you.

Enjoyed reading this poetry.

I just think this is really nice!

Hi hello, I want to start by saying that this is really good! Its short and to the point, and its very nicely written and I love how poetic your word choice is.

"Shocking. The word comes with a variety of connotations. Simply being in a state of shock deprives you of sensory control..."
I love the way you start this off, its very strong. Although, it might do some good to start with the word 'shock' instead of 'shocking'. But either way, its really nice.

"This lack of understanding, momentary loss of hope, keeps us running. It keeps us alive."
These two lines are really nice! If you were to say '...it keeps us running' instead, though, it could make it all the more strong, and tie it in nicely with the second line.

"Shock awakens your darkest fears and deepest dreams, grounding you and flinging you into a destiny you didn't choose, but rather it chose you."
Genuinely nothing to critique here, I just think this is a really nice sentence! I love the way this is worded, and the emphasis on 'you' is nicely placed.

"You bear that loud humming in your bones, gathering into a tremendous crescendo that ends in a crash, and in the silence that follows, you learn and grow."
Another beautiful line! I don't know what it is, but this is just really nice! And its a great way to kinda conclude the piece.

"Shock is the opposite of comfort."
I also like this line, it's blunt and to the point. And it being the thing to conclude it is nice, but it almost sounds like it isn't the conclusion. This line makes it seem like there is more to be said. (and that's not a bad thing, i'm just pointing it out)

So overall, I really do like this piece of writing. The words you used make it really dramatic, and its nice. And despite how short it is, you leave such an impression with the word choice alone. Very nice, very cool.

*Keep in mind, all of my suggestions are just that. Suggestions. You don't need to listen to everything I said.