Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Article / Essay » Realistic


Shocking

by quitecontrary


Shocking. The word comes with a variety of connotations. Simply being in a state of shock deprives you of sensory control; you lose your stock photo world as it turns to chaos under a black sun. Too many eyes, pounding headaches, coldness seeping through your skin. Taste and smell intertwined, overloading neurons and cells taste blood. This lack of understanding, momentary loss of hope, keeps us running. It keeps us alive. 

Such a feeling may seem contrary to human survival, but it carves deep valleys and high mountains in otherwise flat souls, releasing rivers of life-blood sustaining the balance between body, mind and soul. Sometimes shock causes strong emotions, sometimes it quells a storm inside. When you taste concrete dust and see grey fog and hear stillness, you feel, and make space for opinions and thoughts that once only existed in the unconscious. Shock awakens your darkest fears and deepest dreams, grounding you and flinging you into a destiny you didn't choose, but rather it chose you

When you hear the fireworks and feel the screams in your bones and the panic rises in you until you only feel the insatiable need to run, you feel, and you gain a knowledge of yourself, your instincts, your loves, the good and bad that motivate you. You bear that loud humming in your bones, gathering into a tremendous crescendo that ends in a crash, and in the silence that follows, you learn and grow.

Shock is the opposite of comfort. 


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
99 Reviews


Points: 1806
Reviews: 99

Donate
Wed Feb 10, 2021 9:24 am
View Likes
illy7896 wrote a review...



I love this piece because you have described vividly how consciousness and shock and instinct can not only be the difference between life and death, but can tell the truth about yourself and lead you to grow and be aware.
'you lose your stock photo world as it turns to chaos under a black sun' I absolutely loved this line because it's true, our world, in our eyes, can only be one way or another. I also love the imagery in it.
'and make space for opinions and thoughts that once only existed in the unconscious.' I really liked this line, but perhaps you could change the end to make it flow more or maybe you could add some more imagery here describing this state of unconsciousness: only existed in the unconscious void of...
But that's completely up to you.

Enjoyed reading this poetry. :)




User avatar
10 Reviews


Points: 641
Reviews: 10

Donate
Wed Feb 10, 2021 4:10 am
View Likes
spiral says...



I just think this is really nice!




User avatar
10 Reviews


Points: 641
Reviews: 10

Donate
Wed Feb 10, 2021 4:10 am
View Likes
spiral wrote a review...



Hi hello, I want to start by saying that this is really good! Its short and to the point, and its very nicely written and I love how poetic your word choice is.

"Shocking. The word comes with a variety of connotations. Simply being in a state of shock deprives you of sensory control..."
I love the way you start this off, its very strong. Although, it might do some good to start with the word 'shock' instead of 'shocking'. But either way, its really nice.

"This lack of understanding, momentary loss of hope, keeps us running. It keeps us alive."
These two lines are really nice! If you were to say '...it keeps us running' instead, though, it could make it all the more strong, and tie it in nicely with the second line.

"Shock awakens your darkest fears and deepest dreams, grounding you and flinging you into a destiny you didn't choose, but rather it chose you."
Genuinely nothing to critique here, I just think this is a really nice sentence! I love the way this is worded, and the emphasis on 'you' is nicely placed.

"You bear that loud humming in your bones, gathering into a tremendous crescendo that ends in a crash, and in the silence that follows, you learn and grow."
Another beautiful line! I don't know what it is, but this is just really nice! And its a great way to kinda conclude the piece.

"Shock is the opposite of comfort."
I also like this line, it's blunt and to the point. And it being the thing to conclude it is nice, but it almost sounds like it isn't the conclusion. This line makes it seem like there is more to be said. (and that's not a bad thing, i'm just pointing it out)

So overall, I really do like this piece of writing. The words you used make it really dramatic, and its nice. And despite how short it is, you leave such an impression with the word choice alone. Very nice, very cool.

*Keep in mind, all of my suggestions are just that. Suggestions. You don't need to listen to everything I said.






Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :D




Find wonder in the everyday, find everyday language to articulate it.
— Maurice Manning