Once upon a time there lived a boy and a girl who shared a dark past, a grim present and a horrifying future.
This is the story of Luca and Jamie, the two remaining survivors of the Shmettawing clan, a race of humans with superhuman abilities, some had control of an element, others telekinesis or had wings which some interpreted as angelic, others… Demonic…
Both hated and hunted, the Shmettawing clan’s numbers fell from one hundred, to only two… Luca, a strong and fit yet boyish and lanky, had control of fire and was wise and responsible. Jamie was young, not particularly girly, and had control of water and Earth. She had telekinesis and wings.
She now stood atop a cliff overlooking the city, waist length hair blowing freely as the wind enclosed around her frame. She was clothed in denim shorts and a black halter top, not caring about the cool breeze.
Her white wings were spread, the feathers blowing gently as the wind weaved its way through the soft feathers.
Be forewarned, Jamie’s story is no love story, more of a tragedy with no ending. It started before she realised the true extent of her abilities, with a boy named Lucifer.
Lucifer, her love, her best friend and her fiancé. The two of them looked just like each other. Lucifer’s wings were pitch black and Jamie’s were pure white, Jamie’s hair flowed carelessly to her waist and her fringe flowed to the right, whereas Lucifer kept his short and his fringe over his left eye. but that was as far as their differences went. They shared the same, perfectly tanned skin tone, light brown eyes and black hair and the same lips, perfect in every way...
Lucifer, slightly taller than Jamie, was like a caring brother, but that would be an understatement… They were so much closer than anyone, so close that Lucifer gave up his life to ensure his bride to be would remain safe.
Such an unfortunate event...
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Authors note:
Yes, the first line IS supposed to be contradictory. And yes, it is leading to backtracking... and just remember it's only the intro. Thank you 
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140,191 Literary Works • 673,040 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm, well this piece here reads somewhat like the start to a fairy tale, with the way that it starts talking of this history of this old clan that is about to die out. It certainly does a pretty good job of introducing things in that particular vein. The only thing that I see as a bit off about this opening here is the number of people in the clan, 100 doesn't sound like something that would make up a full clan, that's a really small number, I think you might want to go a bit higher there.
That's a slightly shaky transition there to go from the narration of the opening to the protagonist standing on top of a cliff and surveying an area. It makes for a really cool visual tehre to start with, but it needs to be just a teensy bit smoother than what we have here, either that or you've gotta switch up the ending to be more present oriented rather than this whole talk of the past.
Okayy...now that's odd, it continues in its more fairy tale like narration towards the end and the final couple of lines there are sort of like that, which would certainly make for a neat little wrap up to the whole situation here...and now I think having read the full thing, the best thing to do here is probably to make that middle section also blend in more with the narration going on and get rid of the mention of the present, cause otherwise that stands out. Other than that, the premise itself is really quite interesting here, it certainly seems like something that I may read here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hm... well, this was alright. It was just an (as you clearly stated in the title) intro... I'm not sure if such an intro is really necessary, because I haven't read this story; however, it certainly put you in mind of an interesting setting.
I didn’t like how it went from describing Luca and Jamie to describing Jamie and this other guy… and it was also sort of confusing how you said Luca and Jamie were the last of their race, but then you mention this Lucifer character, who is apparently also of the race…
The last sentence is probably not necessary…
Hope this helped!
--
Tabby
Hi!
To me, it seems like you started at the end of a story. Bt I want to know what happened in the beginning, before all of this. I hope you write a prequel, because I'm curious. I also want to know what happens next though.
Well, this piece certainly has a lot of potential!
I didn't like how you left off mid-sentence at the end. I think that and the fact that I was very confused are my only complaints. Overall, nice job!
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I'm interested in this tragic once upon a time!