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18+ Language Violence Mature Content


by queerelves

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

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Points: 7676
Reviews: 93

Sun Nov 30, 2014 2:03 am
emeraldfox wrote a review...

Hello, queerelves! I'm emeraldfox, representing Team EarthBenders this Review Day!

Wow. What a powerful, amazing poem! The formatting and informal, incorrect use of capitalization, spacing, and punctuation made this piece so raw and unedited, like you were just spilling thoughts and passion onto the page. Your meter was so strong and your rhyme worked so well, too. You took readers through anger, sadness, pride, happiness, and just amazement in this piece.

I felt so much emotion reading this poem for several reasons. The first reason was that your word choice was so strong and breathtaking that I was enveloped in the meaning of the poem. Secondly, this poem had so much LGBTQ+ pride that I was really happy to read. And finally, I could connect to this poem at a very personal level because as you stated when you said, "i didn't pick/to be/This way/but you bet your ass/ i wouldn t/(won t)/change it", even though I din;t choose to be lesbian and it isn't as easy as being straight, I wouldn't change it for anything becasue that is who I am and I'm allowed to be proud of myself and who I am.

Of course, you did have spelling, grammar, punctuation, and capitalization errors, but they were intentional and they helped the poem so much, so they shouldn't be changed.

This poem made me cry, actually, but in an angry, yet happy way. SO MUCH EMOTION!!!!! Really though, this was such an amazing and powerful poem and it is probably the best poem I've ever read. I hope you write some more poetry soon because you are SO good at it! Urghh you just make me really happy and now I'm just rambling on about how great you are... :) *likes*

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60 Reviews

Points: 6395
Reviews: 60

Thu Jun 26, 2014 1:23 am
queerelves says...

Tagging everyone who replied here. I made a comment about my inspiration for the poem, and I tried to tag everyone there but I don't believe it worked.

@Eferhilda, @Lylas, @CollinWitte, @Renard, @RoxieRain, @HaleyPenguin, @Garier

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60 Reviews

Points: 6395
Reviews: 60

Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:57 pm
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queerelves says...

Gosh, thank you all for the praise ^~^ I'm so glad to see that everyone likes it! This was a sort of test run for the style I wrote it in, and the response has definitely encouraged me to keep writing such freestyle poetry.

Someone asked me what inspired me to write this. On a small scale, I was encouraged to write this after my uncle called my step dad a fag. I got pissed off about it, so instead of yelling at him I wrote a poem. On a bigger scale, I was inspired to write this because of society's casual use of the term fag/faggot. People use it so much; people use it as a legitimate insult, people use it jokingly towards their friends. And the whole time, no one stops to think about what it really means; the whole time, no one stop to think that this is the word that hundreds of queer people hear as they're being beaten, raped, or murdered.

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74 Reviews

Points: 1117
Reviews: 74

Wed Jun 25, 2014 3:46 pm
HaleyPenguin wrote a review...

I love this! Way to speak your mind!
I'm absolutely in love with this. I love the unique form you put it in. Granted, it's a little hard on the eyes, but don't change it! It's great the way it is. I love that you weren't holding back and spoke exactly what was on your mind. You're one of the first people that I've seen able to do this. Never be afraid to speak your mind no matter what! Major Kudos to you!

I don't see any grammar or spelling mistakes at all.

I think the part I loved the most were the last seven lines. That made a statement. No one's going to change your mind, and that's that whether they like it or not.

Great job on this!!! I hope to see more form you really soon!

P.S. I really do hope that word will not be the last word you ever hear.

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47 Reviews

Points: 1131
Reviews: 47

Tue Jun 24, 2014 9:34 pm
RoxieRain wrote a review...

I love the free form of this poem. The structure really emphasizes the feeling and emotion you hold for this topic. It is also very deep and holds a lot of truth to you making it even better and what people actually think. The message you are sending to everyone is very strong and more power to you for feeling so strongly about how you are and what you believe in. I am happy there are people out there that are not afraid to be what they are and show it off. I also like that you used language to your benefit and not just because you can.
Keep up the great writing! And I would love to see more of it. :-)

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530 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 530

Tue Jun 24, 2014 7:53 pm
Renard wrote a review...

Hello. And YAY.
Thank you for not being afraid of writing something I imagine will become very controversial.
Also, I am a fan of deliberately disturbed formatting. It makes such a more interesting story I think because the shape of the words then mirror the meaning of your story.

You're language is interesting, nothing rude, which is nice, you can use clean language to emphasise your point which shows talent. Kudos
What inspired you to write this work I wonder?
(I have noticed your avvie.) ;)

So in short, this work is bitter and brief but it says a lot about some people's attitudes. It's accurately depicted without the need for cliches and you've said what you wanted to by the end of it. Well done :)

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23 Reviews

Points: 429
Reviews: 23

Tue Jun 24, 2014 7:31 pm
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CollinWitte wrote a review...

I liked the experimental format of this poem - really contributed to the flow of the piece.
What inspired you to write with this spacing and punctuation?
I also liked the message of the poem. It's a really tough subject. Thanks for sharing this work! It has inspired me to also play with word spacing and punctuation. : )

Keep up the good writing!

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275 Reviews

Points: 15319
Reviews: 275

Tue Jun 24, 2014 4:39 pm
elysian wrote a review...

Wow. Just, wow.

All I can do is give you praise this is amazing. This format actually made it flow and make it stand out and more like you're choking out the words. I love it and I think I'm going to go and read some more of your poems. Please, keep writing things like this. Please!

With love,


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29 Reviews

Points: 411
Reviews: 29

Tue Jun 24, 2014 4:30 am
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Eferhilda wrote a review...

Wow. That was probably one of the most moving pieces I have ever read in regards to the subject. I love the format and how it is structured, it really adds to the overall feel and flow of the poem. Word choice is very good as well and each word builds/rolls into the next word and sentence.

Absolutely loved it.

In dreams, we enter a world that's entirely our own.
— Albus Dumbledore