9 Ways To Look At Rain

by purplellamas37
  • May 4, 2012
  • Poetry
  • Poems
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1.
Never stopping,
Rain hurdles down forever.
 
2.
Rain sacrifices
Everything to help the
Ponds, lakes, oceans.
Filling them full with all he has.
 
3.
No Rain equals drought
Drought equals death,
But, Rain equals life.
 
4.
Too much Rain
Causes disaster.
Flooding will ruin a town
And lives.
 
5.
Little puddles made of Rain
On the sidewalk.
Unnoticed, unappreciated, stepped on.

6.
Waiting in the clouds,
Forever patient is
Rain.
 
7.
Always falling in their groups,
Never leaving each other.
Rain always works together,
Teamwork.
 
8.
But as the weather changes,
So does Rain.
Rain to snow, snow to Rain,
Not going against the current.
 
9.
It has Rained,
It is Raining,
And it will Rain.
Comments & reviews · 2
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Cadi
Review
Cadi wrote a review · Mon Jun 25, 2012 1:45 pm

Hey there, Purple,

I think this is a really cool piece - looking at one thing from so many different perspectives can definitely shed some new light on it. I think there are a couple of places where you could improve this a little, though, so, on with the review!

Firstly, in #1 : I am hesitant to tell people what words to use, but I thought I would check on this one - are you sure you mean 'hurdle'? I feel like 'hurtle' might be what you are looking for - it means to move with great speed, whereas hurdle usually means to jump over something. I can picture rain hurtlind down; rain hurdling something is a little trickier.

#2 is an interesting perspective, and not one I'd have though of myself - I like it! #3 and #4 are a brilliant juxtaposition - I like how rain can be both life and death, and by putting them next to each other you really contrast them. #5 , #6 and #7 are again things I wouldn't have thought of - pretty cool stuff.

With #8 , though, I'm afraid I'm not sure what you're trying to get across in this section. It seems to start off saying that rain is able to change, but then the last line, 'Not going against the current', doesn't feel like it really fits. Perhaps something more explicitly about not resisting change would work a bit better?

To round it off, I love #9 . It's short, simple, and ties the whole piece off very nicely. I don't have anything to suggest about that.

I hope I've been helpful in some way with this review. Please feel free to message me if you have any questions about the things I've said!
Cadi x

User avatar
unsocialbutterfly
Review
unsocialbutterfly wrote a review · Sat May 05, 2012 12:58 am

I like this. Possibly I'm a little biased because I love the rain but I think it's both it and your poem are beautiful :)



it's ok, death by laughter was always how i've wanted to go out
— Carina