Published April 29, 2008
I'm a little nappy girl,
a head full of hair,
big blue wandering eyes,
curious to the world.
I'm a little sweet girl,
pink frills around my skirt,
butterflies that I love,
they fly so high.
I'm a little learning girl,
at my first day at school,
I'll make new friends,
they will love me.
I'm a growing happy girl,
I know alot of things,
my tooth fell out,
faries arrive tonight.
I'm a growing sad girl,
moving on to high school,
leaving all my friends behind,
a new era begins.
I an excited girl,
big new school equals fun,
lots of different teachers,
I have found my world.
I'm a teenager.
Eyeliner is the thing I love.
I hate chavs.
music rocks my world.
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Stuff like this should be confined to blogs or journals. As it most definitly navelgazing. It's all telling and give us no real reason to care. Plus how can one be a 'nappy girl'? It's baby or something not nappy girl. Plus it all really cliche, you follow them so strictly and bore us. This likes of poem seems like something for school as you do a task of just telling us your life. I emphasise tell. You could do this much better if ya showed us rather than told us.
Overall: I stick my original comment, this is best kept for blogs or journal. If you wish to edit, show don't tell. Hope this helps
Good luck
VSN