Away from the world

Away from the world


The worlds pace is fast

Faster than ever

It goes fast into fakeness

People walk in the name of world

They make this ‘world’

The sky above stays still

The earth down bears still

Every grass knows the truth

They seldom change from reality

People do turn fake, desert truth

They laugh aloud

They just laugh aloud

But seldom do they realize

The reality is yet laughing at them

I wonder how the earth still bears

I wonder how the sky still stands

I see them and learn to stay

In this world but away from it

Love and me, is all I want

Let them stay and I’ll bear

For the reality says,

The world will seek fakeness

And I wish to be real

Please oh my heart beat and beat

Forgive me for asking you to do so

You got to be real but live with fake

The waves in the ocean chant reality

It comes with hope to tell the world

It hits the shore and sees the world

It drops; it just drops and goes back

It knows that it has no voice here

Oh my heart, beat within me

Like the waves that stay within sea

Still the earth revolves

Still the flowers bloom

Still the air gives breath

All rely on one thing

One thing that can never be fake

That very thing, which keeps me here

‘Love’ I call it, I live it

Oh my heart! Beat for that

For the love which still loves the world

Comments & reviews · 1
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User avatar
imapoemperson
Review

Hey there! Welcome to YWS!

I liked this piece! It flowed well for me. I would just try and break it into stanzas. That makes it a little easier to read, and you can separate different ideas within the poem.

Also, you don't have to capitalise every line, and you can add some punctuation.
This:

The worlds pace is fast

Faster than ever


Could turn into this:
The worlds pace is fast;

faster than ever


I would just try mixing it around a little bit.

One last thing,
The worlds pace is fast

Faster than ever

It goes fast into fakeness
Here you say "fast" a lot. In that list line you could have it as, "It rushes into fakeness" There are several repetitions throughout your piece and it may be beneficial to change them up a bit.

Overall, I really liked it!
Keep it up,
~Poem

Oh! I just realized on spell check that "Fakeness" isn't a word...you could try changing it into something like "Falseness". Or you could just leave it...it's up to you. :D



People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right.
— Albus Dumbledore