One Final Death

Hello there, Pratistha! This is Alex, dropping by a review for your debut poem on YWS. First and foremost, a hearty welcome!! I realise I might be awfully late for that, but I'm certainly on time to let you know what I thought about this beautiful piece. But before that, let's get you settled in! Considering it's been a few months since you joined and thus chose to publish here, I hope that you're finding YWS to your liking so far. Don't be shy to explore more though- we've got a lot of things that could interest you. We'd love to see you around more, however much your schedule allows. I'm guessing you're still in school, so I'm sure even the 'Homework Help' section might prove helpful.. Though the place is a little dead, I can probably take a look if you post a query there, or ask some mod or member to help you out, if I know someone with an expertise in that particular field. If you need help learning more about writing poems, novels or the language in general, YWS has tons of resources for that too. If you want, I can even direct them to you. Basically anything you need help with, we're here to support you in your journey <3

I guess that's enough for a start, let's get the review rolling now ~

Kicking things off, I LOVED the title- the simplicity and yet how effortlessly it captures the very essence of the piece. The reader doesn't realise it at the first glance, but I can definitely see it after I've finished reading the entire thing. I don't come across such relatable yet relevant titles quite often so kudos for that! It could definitely be more flashy or effective but I'm sure that would come with practice automatically, so this is perfect for the start of your poetic journey. Don't we all need some straight to the point, exactly what they are what they say and language that requires no googling titles some days?

To die once you must die twice or thrice–
Less than that and it wouldn't suffice.

My best interpretation is that you're referring to the deaths of close loved ones here. Or it could be extremely difficult times in life, where one feels as if they'd die from the pressure and pain. Either way- quite universal situations, worded flawlessly. It perfectly captures how life is a struggle throughout and doesn't relent no matter what. But isn't that what makes living worth it?

Man of clay, moulded into complete despair–
Unwilling to be reassured, not wanting repair.

Stupendous imagery! I'd go as far as to say that these were my favorite lines from the poem. I could imagine a pottery project gone wrong, refusing to be corrected. It could be because it loves itself the way it is but I think the narrative is shifting towards the other possibility that this imperfection has given a purpose to their unexplained sorrows and now they use it as excuse to wait for death, as only that can rid them of this constant depression. It's almost satirical, partly self pitying- but there's no doubt that the description is specially impactful.

So that people know about your valour,
And thus I speak with blunt candour–

It reads like a warning, from the wise omnipresent voice that's aware of the world's ways, to the victimized subject that can't be helped. The details are too accurate- almost like the voice walked the same path as the subject here and thus say this inspired off of what they'll tell their past self before it was too late and they succumbed to nothingness. It's so sad to see someone's scar being flashed to the world- just to prove that you've been brave. It severely discounts the pain of having gone through it, glorifies hardships instead of consoling those who've gone through them- it's is no way acceptable, it's just society.

A time may come when the broken turns dead
And heard becomes what had always remained unsaid.

A stunning end! <3
Just a slight nitpick: And heard becomes what had always remained unsaid -> All shall hear, what had been unsaid.
The line is so catching, but it's jumbled structure comes across a little odd and mouthy to read. I feel you were struggling with getting the amazing idea on paper as you wrote it, hope this suggestion helps you out. But you don't have to use it if you didn't! Art os subjective, please keep your works the way YOU would like them to read.
What the lines conveyed is sooooo good though. After death, people may finally heed and notice the pains of the subject they did not have the courage to say out loud. If not in life, they're at least seen in death.

Overall, I'm in awe of the coherency and anchor of the poem. The idea is certainly original as well! Dying a new death every day until you die your own- it has a ring to it. And it holds up for life in reality too.. The ultimate death is shown a saviour from life's continuous struggles- almost like how a mother's lullaby puts a crying child to sleep. It's not the first time I see death in a positive light, but certainly not as vivid as this. Brilliant idea, even better execution. Flow and the train of thoughts was interrupted at points, but I'll spare you as it's just the beginning of poetry for you. Write more and we shall go over them together!

That's all I have for now. Thanks for sharing, I had a great time reading. It was my pleasure reviewing it for you, hope to read from you very soon. Happy writing, and until next time ~

Do reach out if you need any assistance though! I'm also a mod (notice my username is green? Means I do maintainance work for the site in a way! That gets me some powers to help you better than the average user here plus it's my literal job to help new members like yourself ) and Indian (can assist you with grammar resources if you're not a fluent speaker, can relate to you better than people from other countries of the world and soooooo on)- so don't please hesitate in reaching out if you have any questions about YWS or need some help navigating. You can PM me, of which the option will appear after you click on my username (the link takes you to my profile) under my avatar (profile picture basically). I'm sure any other mod (green usernames) and any active member would be more than happy to assist you though!

Love,
Alex