I want to be an astronomer and go see the stars.
I'll fly off to Jupiter with a stopoff on Mars.
I want to be a doctor and make people better.
I want to be a writer and live by the letter.
I'll have people marvel over what I have wrote,
Then I'll be a musician and play every note.
I'll be a policeman and live by the law,
I'll travel the world and then write what I saw.
I'll be a teacher and teach what I know.
Then I'll be a fisher and learn how to row.
I want to cure cancer, I want to get fame,
I want the whole world to know my name.
I want to be rich, and save the world (twice),
Yes, that's what I'll do. That would be nice.
I know people generally look down on rhyming structures, so I apologize if it's terrible... =)
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
This is a very good poem. You have nothing to worry about; the rhyme scheme is present throughout and it is nice and solid. I'll have to agree with Selene though: There's something lacking here.
There doesn't seem to be any need to put 'twice' in parentheses. I think you can leave them out and it will be fine.
Otherwise, I have nothing else to say. This was a lovely concept, and a good poem. Thumbs up from me.
Hello pla! I'm Selene and I shall be your reviewer for today.
You have a good, solid poem here, but it seems to be calling a little something to spice it up a bit. More adjectives and imagery of the jobs would be helpful
I believe wrote should be written, but of course that wouldn't rhyme. If you changed it to written then it would sound off, so maybe you could change the following stanza to something that rhymes with written. Maybe bitten?
"Get fame" sounds off, because I don't think anyone "wants to get fame". I'm pretty sure they want to get famous or be famous. You'll have to change the stanza following, though. You could change it to this:
"I want to cure cancer, I want to be famous.
I want to be somebody, I don't want to be nameless."
That's just an idea.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this poem. What you have here is a good start, so keep it up!