Poor Fool

i agree with bloodink. i love your voice in this poem. i really like how you ask the readers whom shall the man be this day. it really gets the imagination going. take a closer look at your punctuation and you are good to go.
keep up the good work

I love the voice in this work.

However, I think the punctuation is a bit heavy and it disrupts the flow when reading.

'A pit, perhaps, for I echo,' I also didn't quite understand this line, but it sounded cool.

'You fool - poor fool,

who shall I be today?'

The condescending manner in which the narrator speaks sounds perfect when you end the work with a rhetorical question.

Great work.

Tops marks for originality.

Well done.

The idea that you bring to light here is very thought provoking. I love these two lines,

"A jackal, perhaps, for I scavenge,

A pit, perhaps, for I echo,"

They paint some vivid images, and are very sharp, precise, and sadistic, which is the feel I get from the whole poem. I also really liked,

"A mirror that begs to adore you,"

Creepy in every way.

The only criticism I have for this poem is that you titled it Poor fool, and you used the word fool not only four times, but four times to end your lines. It gets kind of old.

Buy beyond that, I thought it was good.

Thank you pensword!

*grins and applause*

Hey pensword, you're awesome, you know that? I truly adored this piece merely because of how well it is written and the way you've written it, it really made me smile in the end. I don't know, but I just felt like it.

There are no grammatical for as far as I can see, so well done! But I'm curious..really curious who is it you're describing off. Is it a metaphor for yourself? Or....or is it a darker part of you? Or is what you're describe the devil? or the night or shadows? I'm bursting with curiosity.

I am but the smoke in the glass,

a wicked man in a mask,

A mirror that begs to adore you,

A soul that yearns to destroy you.