1.2.3

Hi pattyperfection, ABC123 here to do a review!

This is such an interesting song, you very cleverly intertwined an ordinary every-day thing and used it to create some awesome rhymes. I feel like this is a rap song, I don't know about you but I feel like it has that rappy feel and rhythm to it
As some others have said, maybe break up the lines a bit to make it more accessible to the readers and there were one or two spelling mistakes, but other than that I think that this is a very cool idea and keep writing!

ABC123

i was thinking, you wrote this with a certain tune to it. i have a certain tune to it. someone else has a certain tune to it. imagine if we knew them all??! it would be crazy! every tune you hear to this can sort of change the lyrics in a way. one may make them sad, the other happy. it is endless possibilities! love this. and i had a 1 2 3 as well. they were very toxic people to be around but now it's all good because "I had to go and forget about the 1 2 3 that I didn't really need all-this-time." keep writing this is lovely! ~a

What a do, What it is. Its yo boi comin' at you with a review.

I like what you did with the numbers. You made the numbers to where they represented the stages of life events.

I can sense that this was written as a love song, to someone that had broke another persons heart. Or that it was written about a couple, but it was like a one-sided love. Where only one of the partners actually loved the other, but the other partner was just there to use the other and play with their heart.

The problems that I had was that there was no punctuation at some of the endings. That is just what I thought,but maybe you meant to do that. I don't know I'm just reviewing. I also noticed that you kinda had some run on sentences, but that goes with the punctuation issue. If you just threw in some commas and couple more periods then I think that the writing would be way better.

Anyway, the lyrics are very interesting. I liked the idea that you had for the song that you are writing. I hope that this is just a little paragraph from your song, and I also hope that I can read the full lyrics in the future. Keep up the good work!

Hello Pattyperfection! Happy Review Day! My name is Ari and I will be reviewing your lyrics today.

This is actually very good for your first piece on here. I like how you used the 123 theme to help you keep the rhythm in your words. But where's the chorus!?! Don't you know that the chorus is the most important part of a song? Most of the times that's what hooks the listener.

I don't really have much to say here. This is a really cute little song. Always keep writing! You are going to get a lot better in time. Jesus loves you! Have a great review day!

Hey pattyperfection!

I'm a little confused by the 1, 2, 3 theme. It seems like you've given it a lot of thought, and I can't really get in the way of personal experience.

I'd like to bring your attention to just a couple of things though.

Perhaps you might want to separate your piece into paragraphs or separate lines when it starts mentioning something else?

Example:
"1 2 3 it was all on me
I never knew that it would be so hard so hard
1 was there and pretended to care
but you made it clear you didn't"

or something like that.

Also, you wrote "planed" and I think you meant to type "planned."

Besides that, I think it's a very neat piece of work. I'd loved to know what the message behind it is! Also, I noticed a lot of punctuation mistakes, like capitalization and small fixes like that. That's all I really wanted to say.

Keep writing!

Love,
Bailey