Young Writers Society

I like the gist of the poem, and have written many poems of a similar nature on the borders of my math homework, however, I find the stanza

They whine to us about exercise
but keep us locked indoors
sitting by slabs of plastic
scribbing graphite on dead trees

I can feel myself becoming sickly and weak
I wish the pain was over
And I could finally
Die.

This is cute and funny, but I feel like I've read it before. See, there are a billion other poems out there JUST LIKE this one that express the same feelings about school and the final moment of relief when the bell rings.

Try, try, try to make it more original. Even if you haven't read the thousands of poems about waiting for the bell to ring, I can assure you with confidence, they exist.

To turn your feelings into something that original (but still relates to your audience), try talking about thoughts running through your head during math class or talk about what an inverse graph symbolizes for you. At the moment, this is like a rant with line breaks. Turn it into a thought, an image, a moment in time that inspires something, with line breaks.

-Colleen