Haun lan

by pandas48491

Published March 1, 2016

E - Everyone

In my books

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Haun lan

It was almost new year’s and my family was getting ready to bind my feet.I decided I was going to run away because I did not want my feet to be bound I was scared and i was 12 years old. When the time came I took very little things to travel lightly I didn’t know where I would go and what was going to happen but somewhere inside me I knew that I was making the right choice.

So then came the time I knew my plan,I had enough food to last me for some time. I put on my tunic and left my house I was really cautions because a lot of people knew me. I ran thinking nothing would happen until I got out of the town and I stop, and I was thinking to myself “where should I go,what do I do.”

I rested for a second and while I was thinking where I should go I saw an old lady and she also did not have bound feet.I walked up to her and asked “hello my name Haun and I was wondering if you could help me?”She seemed to ignore me and I asked again “could you help me i'm trying to find a place to stay so she looked at me and said with a fragile voice “if you help me then i will help you.”I said to her “well what would like me to help you with?”She just pointed at an old abandon house and she said “redo that house and that will be your home.”

So we started walking to the house and I entered and there was a horrible smell it smelled like rat urine and I kept sneezing from so much dust.The old woman said nothing while we looked around the house.I did not want to ask why her feet weren’t bound for she didn’t even want to talk to me.I did ask though “how are we gonna make the house better if we have no cleaning supplies all you have is a cane and your clothes and I just have food and clothes and a bag?”She said very annoyed “use what you have.”

So I looked outside of the house and I saw strips of straw stranded all around and I remember my mom showing me how to make a straw broom I collected the straw and took it inside the house.The old lady looked at me and snickered because I think she did not think I knew how to make one.I had some struggle but I made it well enough to call it a broom.I sweep the whole house and I was very proud of myself and the old lady did nothing just watched how I work I could see sometimes that she seemed impressed.Now instead of me destroying the broom I decided to keep it because if I were to really live here I would still have a broom.

I got more straw and made a duster I only dusted half of the house because it was getting dark and I did not want the bad spirits to come.The old lady was already asleep so I did not have to worry about her so I went to a corner of the house and laid down and went to sleep.It was the next day and I got up and the lady was gone I tried to find her but she was gone.I did not miss her for I only knew her for one day but I was sad there was so much I could of learned and I was also now getting scared because I did not know what was out there. Two weeks passed and I cleaned the whole house it was empty but I made it my home.I ate very little because my food was running out and I had no money so I would have to steal or get a job. But I thought to myself where would I go if I don’t even have a map? when I woke up the next morning i saw the old lady looking at me and I was startled and she smiled and said “you have done well.”I asked her “could you help me get food?” and again she said “if you help me I will help you.”So we started walking and with not a clue where she was taking me we ended up at a rice field. I’ve never worked in one but i’ve seen how much work they put into growing their crops. I saw men working with water buffalo they were steering the buffalo in the back with a rope and the men were standing on a wood platform. We started walking around the farm and I saw men using a tool called a harrow I remember my dad telling me that they used it for breaking up and evening out plowed ground. The old lady took me to a part of the farming place and said “this is your tool when your job is done you get your reward.I said “what is it used for i’ve never seen it” she said “it’s a chain pump it’s used for getting water to the crops.” And so my new life began... 

Comments & reviews · 2
trucks4cowboys wrote a review Review · Mar 14, 2016

Hey gema,

This story is great i really like the historical content and how you did a lot of show not tell through out the story. Your story is very interesting and is very creative. The story made a lot of sense and i always knew what was going on in the story. I like the cliff hanger at the end overall nice job but i wish you would have gave a name for the old lady.

Nice job with your story its very good

User avatar
Techpotter123 Review
Techpotter123 wrote a review Review · Mar 14, 2016

Hey Gema,

This is a great story that is not far from mine. But I'm not here to talk about me, I'm here to talk about you and your story(not meant to be creepy).
I really liked how you used show not tell in this sentence.
"So we started walking to the house and I entered and there was a horrible smell it smelled like rat urine and I kept sneezing from so much dust."
I really knew what was going on.
I wonder if you could add a little more detail into the first paragraph. It seemed a bit rushed, maybe you were just trying to show in-tenseness.


Techpotter123(Bryce)
Over and Out.



The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means.
— Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest