Do you hope or do you despair?

Hi, I loved your poem. The spiraling of thoughts and feelings gives it a unique feel. I think life isn't just hope or just despair; Both are intertwined and present everywhere. The important thing is not to give up, to pursue our freedom, and to accept the responsibility that comes with freedom.
Also, this poem reminded me of nagito from danganronpa!

I actually think the messy, spiraling structure works really well for what you're trying to do. Knowing that the confusion is intentional makes the poem feel less like it's trying to tell you exactly what to think and more like you're being dropped into someone's thoughts while they're trying to make sense of something.

The strongest part for me is the repeated question of “do you hope, or do you despair?” It gives the poem something to come back to even while everything around it feels increasingly scattered. It almost feels like the speaker is asking the same question over and over because they can't actually settle on an answer.

I also like the imagery. There are several lines that feel strange in an interesting way, especially the references to fractured bones, trembling hands, leaves, threads, and the curtain falling. They don't necessarily form one perfectly clear picture, but I don't think they're supposed to. They feel like fragments of different thoughts crashing into each other, which fits your explanation of the poem being a spiral.

That said, there were definitely moments where I had to stop and reread because I wasn't sure what a line was trying to say. Some of the wording feels almost too complicated for the emotion underneath it. Words like “unintentional greed,” “false impression,” “misinformated details,” and “ultimate truth” create a very abstract feeling. A few more concrete images could make the emotional parts hit harder without making the poem more organized.

I also think the first stanza is the hardest to follow. That's not necessarily bad, but there is a difference between intentional confusion and confusion where the reader simply loses the thread. You could keep the spiral while giving the reader one or two stronger images to hold onto.

The poem has a very distinct voice, though. It doesn't feel like you're trying to make everything neat and pretty just because it's a poem. It's uncomfortable, questioning, and a little chaotic. Honestly, that's probably the most interesting thing about it. It's not bananas-level random; there is clearly an emotional progression underneath the mess.

I would keep the lowercase style, too. Since the poem is supposed to feel like an unfiltered thought process, the lowercase actually fits the atmosphere. Overall, I think the concept is stronger than the current wording in a few places, but there's something really interesting here. If you sharpen some of the individual phrases without cleaning up the spiral itself, I think the poem could become much more powerful.