Published September 6, 2011
Every face is a window
to a person's fragile heart,
whether curtains drawn
or garish lights aglow,
always the story's start.
Each window's eyes
are like the crack
in the downed blinds,
allowing a peek
at pain or cheer
or fear or wist
and sometimes dance
with the twinkle of love.
And every face
can tell a tale
like no author
of human race
could ever spin
in the notepad
of their mind.
Some tell of horrors:
divorce or abuse,
rape or torture,.
ending in drug abuse.
Others tell of days
rich with fun and spoils,
without troubles or death,
never hearing of toils.
And usually 'tis the face
covered in shadow
of that one wallflower
that makes the most
compelling read,
the page-turner.
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138,844 Literary Works • 672,336 Reviews
Hello, I will be your ... third - I suppose - reviewer today and I would like to begin with my general impression which was the this poem has wonderful rhythm and a great perception of how the face is exactly like a window to the person's innermost feelings and thoughts.
Your stanzas are straight to the point without dwelling on annoying sentences that can end up confusing the reader but their's forward and cut in just the right way to make it flow. The rhymes are well placed, subtle even and I give praise on that. My poems are much different, they have the whole sentence thing a-going for them and the ever-present rhymes. Aha, so I'm mainly insulting myself while appraising your work.
"Some tell of horrors:
divorce or abuse,
rape or torture,
ending in drug abuse."
I dislike this stanza very much because it breaks the flow when you repeat the word abuse, so I would very much advise changing that repeated word into something else. If you can't figure out any rhymes then I suggest visiting www.rhymezone.com it is a free rhyming dictionary so it is advisable to check it out when your in need.
My favorite stanza was actually :
"And every face
can tell a tale
like no author
of human race
could ever spin
in the notepad
of their mind."
It was very creative to write that, the whole notepad in their mind very much reminded me of how it is with me most of the time when I write something. It seems I picture a small pad of paper and mentally write down what it is I am thinking of and so it is most useful.
Alrighty then -- overall this was a well written poem but there is still that one stanza that should be edited. Just work on that, and keep writting you have exceptional potential involving poetry. I'd like to see you aspire to become a great poet someday. Don't forget to dabble in other things as well, my friend.
Write on,
writteninstone.
This is a brilliant Poem, with such depth! Really Loved it, truly Inspirational, I'd love to see more of you're work!
Love,
EvensLily x
Firstly i'd just like to say, WOW! This is a powerful piece, very deep and very understanderable. I love the way you've compared a window to a person face. Sometimes you can see hurt or pain or gref in there eyes but other you really can see fun adventure hope faith etc etc. I love the concept! It must have been really hard to write this piece so I take my hat off to you, i would of never found the words or even the idea of a face being like a window! Well Done!! Keep writing piece's like this!