Holmes

Thank you for the comments.

Eimear-
This poem was basically about Sherlock Holmes encountering a mystery that he could not solve using reason and evidence so he is forced to count on supernatural forces, which he -as a practical person- looks down on. Here that source is the psychic who has random visions to figure out the murder.

order wrote:Holme’s Last Resort

I couldn’t help but smile at the sight,
for what a sight it was.

His twitching eyes
his bulging veins.

Sherlock Holmes,
champion of reason,
master of observation,
humbled. I like the start, but maybe you could combine this with the previous 2 lines?

Forced to rely on that which he so disdained,
and from a child comma no less.

“Here.”
He tossed the flowing dark awkward line break
object at me contemptuously.
Ignoring his skeptical stare, I closed my hands around
the grainy cloth.
The man vanished from my sight.

Waves of despair
Burning steel
Scarlet liquid
and a muffled pop.

Clouding vision
fading steps
drying red
and a mahogany floor. Great imagery

And then,

The air thins
and my throat trembles

Wheezing, uncontrollable wheezing,
color drains
body wanes effective rhyme
void.

“HUGHLEY!” I yelled
as I flung the searing cloth at the wide eyed man.
“His name is James Hughley.”

---Ohi D.

Wow. I really have no idea what this poem is about, apart from, obviously Sherlock Holmes. What I can say is that the structure is good, although I think's there is unecesarry capitalization in some places that kind of throw the smooth flow off.

Other than that, it was good. What I understood of it- could someone please fill me in? Maybe I'm just having a stupid day.

Eimear