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Young Writers Society



First Ciniquain, Please Critique

by order


This is the ciniquain I am entering into the contest which I am sure to win. :roll:

Meaning:
Essential, illusory.
Tantalizes, Captivates, Absconds.
It is insensibly sought.

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59 Reviews

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Reviews: 59

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Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:22 am
order says...



Um, Whence said that syllable length was optional and I missed the last line when I was copying and pasting it from the contest thread.
Here it is complete.

Meaning:
Essential, illusory.
Tantalizes, Captivates, Absconds.
It is insensibly sought.
Transient.




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2058 Reviews

Points: 32885
Reviews: 2058

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Mon Jul 23, 2007 2:31 am
Emerson wrote a review...



Meaning: 2
Essential, illusory. 7
Tantalizes, Captivates, Absconds.9
It is insensibly sought. 7
The red numbers next to each line represent syllable count. Here is a description of a cinquain: a short poem consisting of five, usually unrhymed lines containing, respectively, two, four, six, eight, and two syllables.

I believe he did say reach the proper syllable length...? Well, first off, your poem is only four lines, and looking at the syllable count, your for off. I can't really say anything about the poem--cinquains are very odd. Not to mention, the poem is incomplete. Critiquing it as is on content would be odd.





Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus.
— Enid Bagnold