Published May 18, 2008
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141,261 Literary Works • 674,331 Reviews
Hmmm. Interesting. I'm a Christian myself, and I went to a Christian school for 4 years (just got out last Wednesday
), and there were times when I wanted to smack those people for being so hung up on everything the Bible says. But anyways, the story was pretty good. Not much I would edit. 0(o.o)0
This thought has occurred to others as well, Demeter. It's a mystery that will never be solved.
This was very fun to read. I like your style. And, you're exactly one month older than me! Isn't it great?
I don't really find anything to critique (and besides, it's not the same thing than with stories and poems), except for one thing. You spelt "necessary" "neccesary". I couldn't find anything else.
So, nice job overall, oneyedunicornhunter! Gosh, I hate writing that. And I started to wonder something. Is the unicorn hunter one-eyed himself or does he hunt one-eyed unicorns? :O If you could clear that one up, I'd be grateful.
Best wishes
Demeter xx
Yes, I liked the explanation a bit more. It answered my questions. Thank you!
) and I hope that someday you will change your mind about it, but I'll respect your position. Free will and all that, yes?
I can't say as I agree with your reasoning about the Church (Jesus' resurrection was not a "zombification" experience... just to clear that up
And yes, I enjoyed your little rant on vegetarianism.
Overall, I really like your additions. They give more insight on how you actually think and not just facts about you! Very nice.
*thumbs up*
~GryphonFledgling
On your request, GryphonFledgling, I have explained my religious beliefs in more detail.
I also decided to go more into my vegetarianism. I think you'll find my logic very convincing...
Interesting little autobio of yourself. I liked the wit that you brought into it. Very nice. I was most certainly not bored. *two thumbs up*
Why exactly do you disagree with Catholicism? You said you accepted (most, you say?) it in school, so why did you change? That was a bit shady in the piece. I'm a Catholic personally, so I'm just interested in what drove you away.
their should be they're
their = plural possessive of "they"
they're = contraction of "they" and "are"
Also, that sentence seems a little awkward to me. Perhaps a better rewrite might be:
"(still do, but they're now covered by my hair, the state of which my parents complain about twice daily)"
"Of" is just an awkward word with which to end sentences.
I didn't really like the ellipse in there. I see what you are trying to do, but it just looked strange. Perhaps an alternative might be:
"Not with a girl, though. No, my infatuation was with literature!"
Just flows a bit better.
Anyway, very nice. I'm glad to have learned a little about a fellow writer. It just seems as though they are few and far between outside of YWS and I tend to not think of them as people in the real world. *feels ashamed* You have obviously convinced me otherwise.
~GryphonFledgling