Young Writers Society

The first stanza doesn't flow very well because the lines are so short. I would suggest changing it into just one or two lines. Also, I don't like that mutilated is in italics. Your writing should speak for itself and have a big enough impact without resorting to italics, bold or caps. Your poem overall seems to need more description - it leaves me asking, why, how, etc. The ending is quite nice.

Ooh!
I liked this.
I didn't really understand very well, but I liked it.
So, were you mutilated by something someone told you that had great impact?
No, thats probably wrong.
Whatever.

"Growing up

Unaware

‘Till the day

I realized

That I was…

Mutilated."

This is kind of jarring and doesn't flow too well. You might want to consider revising.



"For what purpose,

For whose profit?

A passing thought

By one guardian becomes

An act of slicing flesh and soul."

Interesting. Intriguing. But if your poem isn't supposed to rhyme, don't let it.
Like here, it doesn't. But the last lines do.



"With gaping mouth and longing lust,

I grasp what's left and turn to dust."

Powerful; but please think about what I said with the whole rhyming thing.
If I were a tough critic, I might add that you need punctuation.
However, I am not, so I won't.

Overall, nice job.
Keep writing!