Published January 28, 2008
...but I know it still needs work, so that's why I brought it here! 
)
Flying down the freeway
Just the air reducing us to one volume
Singing through the night
One long note vibrating the tunnels
We sing for madness
Our joy is its own voice
And we tangle in the echo
That reminds us the world is ours tonight
We are king and queen
Of the interstate
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,471 Literary Works • 674,496 Reviews
Hmm, this is good, I just think a few things need to be reworded, and I'm not quite sure how.
I think you could omit "just" from the second line. I like the image of vibrations inside tunnels, and it is in fact the only image, everything else is just prose, really. How about expanding this image, talking further about how the noise interacts with other objects? "Tangle in the echo" is another good part you might like to expand on. "That reminds us the world is ours tonight" is a little corny, but it's quite nice all the same. I also didn't know you were talking about a male and a female until the end, so perhaps you could talk about the different male and female voices some more. Good luck!