Young Writers Society

Hey, Rhia here to review. I think that the topic and explanation is good, so I'm just going to give some nitpicky editing

"Sometimes people even seem to actually fall in love with the sheer tragedy itself of not being loved back;"

Should be worded as
"Sometimes people even seem to fall in love with the sheer tragedy of not being loved back itself."

Also, avoid words like "seem". THis is your article, your opinion, so own it. Don't use words like this that make you seem hesitant, wary, or restrained. Use bold, commanding, confirmative language only.

'the tears that they shed, and the awareness that it is you whom of which is responsible for them."

I commend you for trying to use whom, most people are too lazy to bother with it, but here it should be who. ANd the "of which" doesn't make sense there. Just, the wording is a little off.

"The end."
That made me cringe. Your wording should end it for you, unless you're writing a fairy tale, please don't ever end with "the end"

My last tip is that you use hyphens a little more sparingly. I have had several English teachers who make it a rule that students would get only one hyphen(used as punctuation, not to join words) and one exclamation point per work. I know the exclamation point bit doesn't apply here, but the point is that both tend to make a work sloppy when used in excess. Try to replace some of those with commas for a more professional appearance.

I'm sorry, I hope I wasn't too harsh, but I'm an editor, so all these things jump at me. It really was well written and interesting to read, though.

Hi!
I really enjoyed this essay, and can't really find anything wrong with it!
I liked how you bolded main points, as well as paragraph end each thought in a way that made the work flow. Without that people would not pay attention to your argument but towards how each thought was compacted together and confusing.
I also liked how you gave a simple, common example for unrequited love. It welcomes everyone, even those who haven't yet truly experienced it. You also considered both sides with equal sympathy which I enjoyed, making sure you understood and exemplified both perspectives.
Another part I enjoyed was the positivity at the end that made sure a reader wouldn't give up hope. I know the last thing I want when reading an article or essay is to be depressed and discouraged. Especially if they have good reasoning and a sound argument so I can't disagree. You made it so that not only was the essay realistic and truthful, but also hopeful and encouraging. You helped the reader know that although falling in love is hard and painful, it's worth the risk.
Enjoy the work! Great job!