The Pyro

Hi. I noticed you've commented on a few works, but haven't recieved any reviews. So I'll review for you.


'They feel no man' - What does this mean? As a physical sensation it seems a little odd, since I know a lot of people who don't feel men. As a metaphorical expression it makes no sense. Maybe a better word than 'feel' could be used? Or is it just bad grammer? 'He scares them' also doesn't fit because 'no man' refers to the general male population but 'he' refers to a single male.

'He can burn more than ten' - more than ten what? This poem is quite short, but I get the impression that there could be a lot of backstory that feels necessary to its meaning.

'Seems like burning is his main task'- the rhythm is out here, like you've written it so that it matches the rhyme. Sometimes it helps to experiment with different endings just so that you keep your options open. And 'the mask'? Again, is this a metaphorical mask, like a facade, or a physical mask, like in V for Vendetta? Is it to protect the man or to hide his identity? The purpose isn't at all clear.

I'd say the same for the next line. 'He can choose between red or blue.' I get the idea that you're trying to put across, but it could be better. Poetry is very condensed, so you have to stay sharp. Keeping a consistent theme and style is especially important, otherwise you're distorting the idea that you're trying to get across.

Overall I like the idea, it's interesting, and quite creepy. The poetry itself needs work though. My main recommendation is to make this a lot longer. The shorter the poem gets the harder it is to write, and the less there is to work with for those trying to help you improve.

Why "more than ten"? There are only nine classes...