Published February 28, 2010
i like it, but don't. it's a love/hate relationship i have with it.
- unfinished. advice to continue futhur would be lovely. because i feel that this poem can brew into something beautiful.
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vapid creature, dispassionate, reserved,
emotionless, emotional, delirious, sane,
devoid, asphyxiated in tears i mourn,
the loss of humanity, normality, immunity.
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fraudulant being, honest prescence,
anemic stranger, concealed thoughts,
eyes of wisdom, eyes of purity,
the loss of humanity, normality, immunity.
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lackadiascal emotions, uncontrollaably imperiled,
endangered of the reflections, ivory stained,
bruised and rippled flaws stream,
illusions become humanity, normality, immunity.
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This poem is so beautiful, it really speaks out about how different we can feel. I love your word choices! This sounds like the words of someone, who someone close to them has died or betrayed them. i hope you write more, you're amazing!
I really like the vivid descriptions and the brutal honesty of the words. It is like a void that has become part of everyday life that nothing but what was previously there can fill. I also agree with Quetseli you should continue, it's a very beautiful poem. I wish I could write poems like that.
I think it's a wonderful poem. It sound like you're describing the flaws of humanity in a way. But if you were to continue, say something about hidden truths or lies. Or maybe unknown emotions. But, that's me and it's your poem. I think you should continue. :3