This was interesting. Very cool, thoough.
My only suggestion is that you takke out the first word, "So." It sounds like something was supposed to come before it, and it also sounds like your about to freestyle rap.
Unless of course, I missed the first entry of this.
Anyway, good work. I like this.
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141,407 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
It seemed kind of narrative to me, but with a dramatic sense to it. I thought it was great how you took just one event and turned it into a poem...it didn't seem like you added anything...you just told the truth. A lot of poems don't do that. I like this one, Brad.
*le sigh* Incan...how do you do it? All too often I trip through this site and mob the attempts at poetry with my flock of raven keys till I feel sick inside, then I find one of yours. You, my dear boy, are a poet. I can't help but feel overshadowed by you, and if I ever saw you in the flesh, I might feel forced to run you over with my car through pure jealousy. I have nothing more to say on this, which is amazing, as you should well know. It is not often that I find nothing to critique.
i liked the idea behind this. an di liekd how it was written. i don't really have much to say, except i liked it. and i'm trying to write a poem about my grandmother and letters i found and i'm jealous that you wrote one first