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Young Writers Society



Silent Battlefield

by ohhewwo


The last two warriors gazed
at what they had done

The bodies lie on the grass
as numerous as the green blades themselves

The dying weapons
bore flecks of maroon
upon their metallic persons
like warpaint of a lost, forgotten cause

The resting sun gazed out at the field as well
raining down its heavenly light
like a gateway to the afterlife.

The warriors walked away from the chaos
lamenting at the mistake of themselves and their kin
and never faught again.

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Points: 1078
Reviews: 333

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Fri Mar 25, 2005 7:26 pm
emotion_less says...



This was really good. It flowed well and was written well (except for the one spelling mistake).




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1259 Reviews

Points: 18178
Reviews: 1259

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Tue Mar 22, 2005 6:15 pm
Firestarter wrote a review...



never faught again.


spelling typo, faught = fought.

Anyways, I enjoyed this poem, it came across quite well. Specifically I particularly liked the third stanza which seems the centre of the poem and easily the best bit. I found the end to be a bit of an anti-climax, mainly because in general I thought it could have been longer and extended into a bit more of emotional description to set the scene a little better.





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