(i'm choking)
throat's croaking
you're always provoking
you made a ring 'round my neck
to match the one
on my hand
(fists pounding)
surrounding
my heavy heart sounding
you're tepid in me
through
sickness and health
(we're screaming)
tears streaming
flooded eyes gleaming
the veil does not veil
when the wedding
is done
(i'm broken)
like bones
like unbreakable vows
like my frail porcelain heart
beneath your words
and your blows
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141,329 Literary Works • 674,350 Reviews
Just please don't tell me about punctuation. :3 I'm still trying to decide if I want to put it in or leave it out. Thank you so much! 
Well, I really liked this.
Typically I'm not a huge fan of poetry that's so blunt and with such short lines, but you avoided the typical problems of it being angsty or dull. It had a lot of power to it, and all in all, this is pretty awesome.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver
C: I didn't really get the poem until after I read the spoiler, and when I did it made much more sense. <3 It's really good, beautiful, and I don't think there's anything to give you constructive criticism on, or at least none I can see. I'm sorry I didn't help much, but it is a work in process as you said. Once you think about it more and look it over you'll be changing things on your own. When that happens I'll come back and read it again(: