Perhaps I'll fail my exam.
It's on Monday. Today marks Saturday, 9.20pm.
Dedicated students. Those that rationalise and contextualise and all the other types of lise's one can hope to conjure; would be cramming.
Cramming is what we are taught not to.
Yet what we all do nonetheless.
Cramming for that last chance to unravel a string of ideas that sets fire to an in depth understanding
Or groan in frustration, at the pre-empting doom.
Perhaps there will be an Earthquake. There's an idea. No one would be seriously injured or killed or anything. Damn. There's the first flaw. Name an earthquake where no one has been seriously injured, not one person. Yeah I can't either.
But perhaps this earthquake, a harmless yet civil defence yielding earthquake will cause public alarm and unrest. Clogging media channels and striking domestic concern. Families stay home for fear of a full blown natural disaster. Mums forge sick notes and Dad's inspect the house for damage. Politicians debate evacuation plans. Supermarkets experience unprecedented sales volume. Neighbours gossip on this, that and the other pieces of un-evidenced information they heard on talk back radio.
And students?
They don't have to sit their exam.
For another week.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,015 Literary Works • 672,850 Reviews
I like the idea of this a lot; pretty much all students can relate. You could afford to vary your sentence length just a tad in some areas, but it's really not something to be concerned about. Personally, where you say "Yeah I can't either" I would add some kind of punctuation between the yeah and the rest of the sentence. Maybe something like "Yeah, I can't either." or "Yeah. I can't either." just to emphasize the pause between the two parts of the sentence. And when you say Dad's in the biggest paragraph I think you mean Dads. Overall, I really liked it! Keep up the awesome work!
1. I like your user name!!!!
2. Thanks for the feedback - I agree with your punctuation tips!!
Thanks so much!
Such great feedback!!
I joined YWS last night... while I was procrastinating. So I thought it only relevant to write about... procrastination.
Was a quick piece.
Haven't written in yonks so will take all the encouragement I can get!!!
<3
Welcome to YWS!!! It was really fun reading your work!
Ooh first one to review on this interesting work. Your sentences are a but choppy since some of them start with gerunds, etc. Try to merge sentences together so you're more clear. For example: "Clogging media channels..." It took me two reads to realize the earthquake would clog the media channels. But don't listen to me I could just be dumb.
Also you should add a "do" after "to" so it is "Cramming is what we are taught not to do."
Just work on revising it a little more.
But I gotta say this is a great poem. I cram too and was able to relate to this poem. Good word choice too!
Keep writing!
Perhaps you could check our my stories? I would love to hear what you have to say!!
Thank you Miss Book Thief!!
I will be sure to check put your work during my next bout of procrastination